Friday

Fox Noose - Who Will We Hang Today?


FOX NEWS ARE

PERVERTS, PORNOGRAPHERS AND CRIMINALS!

this is real

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THIS PIECE OF SMUT WAS ACTUALLY

 FEATURED ON THE FRONT PAGE OF

 www.foxnews.com TO TRY AND GET YOU

 TO COME BACK AS A REGULAR READER

 WITH THE CAPTION:

"the stimulus package America really needs." 

YOUR "FAMILY VALUES" PROPAGANDA

PORNO SERVICE AT WORK.  

In addition to this piece of smut which was on

 the FRONT PAGE of www.foxnews.com,

 read the "Fox On Sex" articles below where they:


*Encourage Americans including teenagers to have ORAL SEX

*Encourage Americans to MASTURBATE

*Encourage Americans To Have THREE-WAY-SEX

*Encourage Americans To Buy Just The Right VIBRATOR

*Encourage Americans To Engage In EROTIC SPANKING

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 (NEWS and STORIES UPDATED

BELOW REGULARLY)

TRY OUR NEW FUN WEBSITE!
(click on picture)

where you can play dress-up with all your favorite
right wing media maniacs!

(send comments to: foxnoose@gmail.com)

 

         A SERVICE OF THE FOX NOOSE NETWORK
    






 




THEY LIE. THEY DISTORT. THEY MANIPULATE.
THEY DECEIVE. THEY ARE HYPOCRITES.



THEY ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO JOURNALISM.
THEY HAVE THE ULTIMATE NERVE TO REFER TO THEMSELVES AS A LEGITIMATE NEWS GATHERING ORGANIZATION.

THIS IS A PARODY/SATIRE--OPINION/CRITICISM SITE OF FOX NEWS AND ALL OF THEIR RIGHT-WING FRIENDS. THEREFORE, IT IS PROTECTED BY THE SAME FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS UTILIZED BY FOX NEWS AND ALL OF THEIR RIGHT-WING FRIENDS.



 


COM'ON BABY,
LET'S DO THE FOX TWIST!
COM'ON BABY,
LET'S DO THE FOX TWIST!
YOU TAKE THE NEWS...
AND YOU TWIST IT LIKE THIS!

































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THIS IS REAL!

The Perverts and Pornographers at Fox News Have Decided That Americans Should Be Engaged in Threesomes!

 

 "Fox on Sex: When Three Is Not a Crowd"

Actual Quotes From Their Story:





The thrill of a threesome may come from watching it happen, participating in it, or a combination of both. You need to talk about these things to figure out your preferences.”


Now more than ever folks in serious relationships are becoming open to inviting a third into the bedroom to keep monogamy from becoming monotonous.”


Is a threesome in your future? Whether it's with your lover, a fling, or your husband/wife, the fantasy of a ménage à trios has crossed the mind of many at one point or another”


You’ll be happy to know that many (men and women) have fantasized about it.”


If it sparks interest, you can get into the details of how each of you might envision it happening; at which point you’ll know whether they’re interested in a female or male guest-star. Not surprisingly, around 95 percent of heterosexual men prefer to have a woman join in. However, women tend to vary in their preferences.”


You should discuss whether any rules apply to kissing, penetration, etc.; this is crucial to the successful launch into this fantasyland.”





 HOW DO YOU TEABAGGERS LIKE YOUR FOX NEWS NOW?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL -- AND IS SICK AND PERVERTED!

FOX NEWS RUNS STORY ENCOURAGING AND INSTRUCTING AMERICANS TO ENGAGE IN EROTIC "SPANKING"

The perverts and pornographers at Fox News, who have published a number of stories advocating that Americans engage in Oral Sex over the last few months, have a new fetish!

Fox on Sex: Please, Ma'am, May I Have Another? Spanking 101


QUOTES FROM THE STORY:

"Tender skin. An open palm or leather flogger. The anticipation before the hand or instrument meets flesh. The thrill as the sound reaches your ears at precisely the same moment the sensation reaches every inch of your body. And you only get another if you ask very, very nicely."
"As part of consensual adult play, it can be delicious fun."

"People enjoy spanking, because in a safe environment, it can be exhilarating to command and to relinquish all power. The spanker is in control of how many spanks and how hard (within the agreed upon scenario, of course.)"

"Spanking is also a thrill for the senses. The smell of the leather. The sight of the instruments of pleasure or your partner’s backside. The sound of the spank. The feel of open hand or flogger or paddle."

"The mere sight of the instruments of play can make some people salivate. Although you can use your bare hand, some prefer to use a leather flogger, spanker, slapper, or riding crop for spanking play."

"Step One: Bare the Bottom

You may want your partner to lower his or her pants just enough for you to get to the goods. That mid-state of undress might actually be more exciting for you both than going the full monty.
Step Two: Assume the Position
The “spankee” can lie across the spanker’s lap, legs spread (if clothing allows.) Or he or she can bend over or lie across a bed, chair, or table. It’s your scene, set it however you like.
Step Three: Prepare the Canvas
You may want to take your hand or instrument of choice and rub the waiting target gently, teasing with the very thing that is about to bring a sting or slap or whisper of pain.
Step Four: Say the Word
A little dirty talk can also be fun when you indulge in spanking play.
Are you ready?”
Yes.”
Yes, what?”
Yes, ma’m.”
That’s better. Now lift up that beautiful bum. I’m about to start a little fire.”
Step Five: Let ‘er Rip"
"Take your time. Going too quickly will spoil half the fun. And be sure to check in with your partner. Reminding the spankee to breathe is also a good idea as you go. It makes the pleasure deeper and keeps the spankee in touch with how the sensations really feel."
"Yum. The aftermath. Almost the best part. The red marks left behind. The heat rising from the spanked skin. Caressing the skin with cool hands after the spanking can be stellar."
WHEN WE STARTED www.foxnoose.com, WE NEVER DREAMED THAT FOX NEWS ITSELF WOULD CONTRIBUTE A CONSTANT SUPPLY OF SOME OF THE SICKEST AND MOST PERVERTED STUFF AVAILABLE ANYWHERE.

THIS IS YOUR CONSERVATIVE, RIGHT-WING, ALL-AMERICAN FOX NEWS CHANNEL IN ACTION.



















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THIS IS REAL

MORE LEWD AND OBSCENE FEATURES FROM FOX NEWS, YOUR ALL-AMERICAN, CONSERVATIVE, FAMILY VALUES NEWS NETWORK!

WE THOUGHT FOX COULD NOT TOP THEIR STORY FROM LAST MONTH WHICH ENCOURAGED TEENAGERS TO HAVE ORAL SEX (READ FURTHER BELOW).

THEY HAVE. APPARENTLY FOX NEWS NOW WANTS TO BE PENTHOUSE MAGAZINE.




IN A FEATURE TITLED "BEST VIBES," FOX NEWS IS TAKING QUESTIONS THAT THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ENJOY TOGETHER.

THE QUESTION EXACTLY AS PUBLISHED IN THEIR COLUMN ON FOXNEWS.COM:

"Q: I want to buy my girlfriend a vibrator, and I was wondering if you have any recommendations. Thanks!"

THEIR ANSWER EXACTLY AS PUBLISHED:

A: "To make this purchase something special, I would go for a vibe that’s a bit more high-end. This isn’t only because these vibes tend to look and feel cooler, but designers have also well- considered the product’s life cycle, safety, reliability, and energy efficiency. Companies have also thought about responsible manufacturing and waste reduction when tending to environmental accountability. All of these qualities make for a sexier purchase, especially in winning over an eco-friendly mate. It looks and feels sexy, plus it’s waterproof, sparking ideas for where and when it can be used. The fact that it’s rechargeable, phthalate-free (as in made of body-safe materials), quiet, and travel-ready only add to its intrigue. It’s sleek and sophisticated, with its dual motors easily controlled for “sensation in stereo.” It’s sure to be a hit!"

FOR A BETTER ANSWER, FOX NEWS SHOULD HAVE TURNED TO THEIR EXPERT ON WOMEN AND VIBRATORS, BILL O'REILLY. THE FOX NEWS HOST USED TO LIKE TO USE A VIBRATOR HIMSELF WHILE CALLING UP YOUNG WOMEN FROM THE FOX NEWS OFFICE AND INSTRUCTING THEM ON ITS CAPABILITIES.
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THIS IS REAL
Fox on Sex: The Joys of Oral Sex
Friday, February 26, 2010

"People love oral. It’s ultimately irresistible."

"Oral sex has become widely acceptable. Pursued by people of all orientations, from the teen years up." 


"Some women can climax only from this most intimate of sexual pleasures, thanks to the hub of her pleasure, the clitoris, getting ample attention."

"He also likes that his lover is doing all of the work and that he can just relax."

"Encourage your lover to explore sex resources that portray oral sex in a healthy light, depicting it as natural, normal, and beautiful more than anything."

"Talk about how much you’re savoring this sexual moment, before sitting back and enjoying all the exquisite eroticism to be had with the tip of the tongue."


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL


THE PERVERTS AT FOX NEWS HAVE NOW GONE BEYOND ALL DECENCY.

















FOX NEWS TODAY DECIDED THEY NEEDED TO TELL AMERICANS HOW TO MASTURBATE.

Fox on Sex: Try More Solo Sex


QUOTES FROM THEIR STORY:

"It’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s fantastic for you. And all you need is to be alone."

"Masturbation. Sounds like you’re up to no good. But self-pleasure really is nothing but good."
"But this is one act that’s an equal opportunity pleaser. All you have to do is let go."

"It doesn’t matter if you’re alone in the bedroom, the bathroom, or the family room, as long as you can pretty much guarantee privacy, you can do it."

"It’s simple to do. Erotic reading or film viewing can add a little spice and there are plenty of products to help you along."

"There are fun accessories. There are all kinds of great toys out there to help you get the job done."


"Perhaps best of all, you don’t have to settle for just any warm body just because you’re in need of a little nookie. The only player you need … is you."

"Everyone’s always saying how important it is to take some time for yourself. So, isn’t it time for you to take a little true “me time?”"


There is no way we can possibly do satire or parody on this. Fox News is SICK.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




BREAKING NEWS!
ABSOLUTELY REAL!
Channel 4 in the UK has obtained a tape from a secret meeting in which Crime Boss
 Rupert Murdoch of Fox News/News Corp. acknowledges all the bribery and hacking going on in his criminal media empire.
Regarding The Bribing Of Law Enforcement: 
"I don’t know of anybody, or anything, that did anything that wasn’t being done across Fleet Street and wasn’t the culture. And we’re being picked on." "That’s been going on a hundred years, absolutely. You didn’t instigate it."
Regarding What Was Going To Happen To All His Employees Involved In Hacking and Bribery:
"I will do everything in my power to give you total support, even if you’re convicted and get six months or whatever."

THIS IS THE OWNER OF FOX NEWS WHO SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON IN HIS COMPANY.

 NEWS CORP. (FOX NEWS)
 PHONE HACKING SCANDAL
 EXPLAINED IN ANIMATED 30 SEC.



 CLICK ON UNCLE RUPERT TO WATCH!

 



BREAKING NEWS (THIS IS REAL)

NEWS CORP. (SAME AS FOX NEWS) IS BEING INVESTIGATED FOR 600 MORE CRIMINAL PHONE HACKING INCIDENTS.


DETAILS ARE ALL OVER THE NEWS (EXCEPT FOR FOX NEWS)


Rupert Murdoch: "NOT FIT"

 to run a major company

         (an investigative committee's findings)

  CLICK TO ENLARGE

 


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Dedication Today of the George W. Bush Presidential Library










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satire
WORLD WILL
NOT END
THANKS TO
ROY MASTERS!
(www.roymasters.com)




 December 20, 2012
 
 Fox News has exclusively learned that the world
will not end tonight at Midnight as predicted
by the ancient Mayan calendar. Late this afternoon,
a team of archeologists at UCLA discovered new
evidence in the Mayan calendar and have
released their interpretations.

"Cult leader Roy Masters has been discovered in
the eleven o'clock position on the calendar.
Nobody could make the figure out before, but
then we magnified it and realized it was
the great religious wise man Roy Masters"
said the chairman of the dept. at UCLA.

"Thousands of years ago, the Mayans
 placed him just next to Midnight
on December 20, 2012 to symbolize that
he would usher in a New Era on Earth, just
before it was ready to end on December 21.
Roy has saved all humanity!"

Fox News asked cyberstalker/cyberbully
Jackie Danicki what she thought now that
the world would not end.
"Now I can continue cyberbullying
and cyberstalking as usual! I thought my
passion was finished at Midnight tonight."


 Roy Masters discovered in eleven o'clock position.
 


 Roy's book dominates current Mayan culture.




David Masters does a ritual Mayan dance at
Tall Timber Ranch in Selma, Oregon.
 













Jackie Danicki dresses up Mayan style to celebrate being
able to continue to lie about people on the Internet.



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 this is real












FOX NEWS -- THE "FAIR AND BALANCED" NETWORK
CUTS OFF INTERVIEW WHEN A DISTINGUISHED
JOURNALIST COMMENTING ON BENGHAZI SAYS:
"the emphasis on Benghazi has been extremely political,
partly because Fox was operating as a wing of the Republican Party."

Military expert Tom Ricks spoke about a minute when he
made the comment and the interview was abruptly ended.
 THE "FAIR AND BALANCED" NETWORK AT ITS BEST.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SATIRE

How Fox News Coordinates

Their Nationwide Right-Wing Agenda
Every Morning.

A 9:00 a.m. EST meeting is held daily at the offices of Fox News
 in New York. Attending are: Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck,
 Michael Savage, Mark Levin, Bill O'Reilly, Laura Ingraham and Anne Coulter.













Fox News Managing Editor of the Day: Who Shall We Hang Today Everybody?

Sean Hannity: I always like smearing Nancy Pelosi!

Rush Limbaugh: Over-Saturation my colleague.

Michael Savage: Yeah, I'm tired of her "Water-Hor-ing"

Glenn Beck: You are just so clever Michael!

Mark Levin: Stop being Idiots and Let's Hang 'Em High!

Ann Coulter: I know! Obamanation has stayed in the White House for two days straight.
 He must be ill. Let's say he's got THE COOTIES!

Laura Ingraham: Fantastic! Here will be our talking points...blah...blah...blah...blah..
.
9:30 a.m. EST Fox News leaves out all the relevant facts and distorts the situation:














President Obama reportedly has The Cooties. Because he has not left the White House for two days, information has reached us that the President is ill--and not with something average. Instead, the most feared childhood disease has apparently overcome the President--he most likely has The Cooties.......blah...blah...blah...blah...blah...blah


10:00 a.m. EST Laura Ingraham
"It's right there in Fox News so it has to be true. The President has THE COOTIES. And that could be the end of the country."








12:00 p.m. EST Rush Limbaugh
"I Kid You Not Folks! Barack Obama has certainly come down with something and all indications point to THE COOTIES!"

















3:00 p.m. EST Sean Hannity
"Let me get my best choir boy/innocent voice on to share this news with you. His Holiness Obama has been stricken with a deadly illness--The Cooties. Because His Majesty was seen eating around at various places last week--there is only one safe place for you and your family to still have dinner--and that's at Ruth's Chris Steak House--the one place you can still get a safe and Cootie-less meal!"



6:00 p.m. EST Mark Levin
"I'm SICK OF IT! This weak President Barry with THE COOTIES is already looking for an excuse to sign everything and anything coming from those Democreatures. My puns are so hilarious, I need to take a break for some low class scam financial commercials, so I can get my composure back."







7:00 p.m. EST Michael Savage
"That Neanderthal sitting in the once respected Oval Office has THE COOTIES. And the Jews are behind it all. Soon we'll all have THE COOTIES and we'll all DIE. And if you don't agree with me I'm going to personally sue each and every one of you!"





Glenn Beck.
“Obama is a racist. His entire family are racists. Anybody that follows him is a racist!”







8:00 p.m. EST Bill O'Reilly
"President Obama has THE COOTIES and we'll find out why from Karl Rove and Anne Coulter when the Factor begins right now!"
 














 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

satire
IT'S ELECTION NIGHT AT ROMNEY HEADQUARTERS
 

FOX NEWS SUDDENLY SHOCKS ITS
VIEWERS WITH AN ANNOUNCEMENT
ROMNEY REPUBLICANS AT THE
 ELECTION HEADQUARTERS
RESPOND TO THE ANNOUNCEMENT:



































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editorial is real

Everyday for months, college dropout Rush Limbaugh used his
 superior political knowledge to inform listeners that the polls showing
Obama leading Mitt Romney were totally inaccurate because
Democrats had been oversampled. Limbaugh's unquestionable analysis
of political polling techniques would clearly result in a "landslide for Romney"
and "Democrats were running scared." As a typical Republican,
and the self-proclaimed man from "Realville," Limbaugh now ha
 no accountability for his incessant B.S. (A favorite Limbaugh term)
 and non-stop erroneous babbling.


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editorial is real
Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin and Sean Hannity spent 4 years on
a daily basis, over 10,000 hours, libeling, slandering and defaming
the President Of The United States.
They all said that Mitt Romney was going to win in a landslide in 2012.
They wasted 4 years of America's time. You can't believe anything they say.


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satire


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satire
 ROY MASTERS GOES CRAZY AND NEEDS TO BE CARTED AWAY
AFTER OBAMA IS RE-ELECTED AS PRESIDENT.















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 this is real
 "It's the Republicans versus the Communists"

declares cult leader Roy Masters
(www.roymasters.com)
in his depiction of the upcoming
Presidential election.

As a public service, we present a collage of
all those Communist U.S. Presidents.





 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-
 SATIRE













Fox News Announces
Fox News/Cathy Seipp Memorial Cyberbullying Award.
Jackie Danicki To Be Honored
With Very First Award.


Fox News has announced the creation of the
Fox News/Cathy Seipp Memorial Cyberbullying Award
in honor of the woman who spent the last 5 years of her
life libeling, slandering and defaming innocent people
on the Internet. (www.cathyseipp.com)
The first ever honor will go to cyberbully and cyberstalker
Jackie Danicki.

Seipp's daughter, Maia Lazar, who used to team up with her mom to attack
everybody they came in contact with, had this to say:
“My mom would be proud that Fox News has created this special
award to honor what she did best. We spent much time considering
who would be the first recipient of this special honor. We had to find
somebody who could meet the special requirements. The person had to be
a liar; somebody that twists and distorts reality and somebody who
uses the Internet to libel, slander and defame innocent people.
Jackie Danicki clearly met all the standards for this special honor.”

Fox News/News Corp. will also present Jackie Danicki with a set of unique phones
that will allow her to start hacking into her victims' voice mail and will provide her
with $100,000. to bribe law enforcement officials for confidential information
on the people she regularly attacks.

Maia Lazar added, “When mom and I used to libel and slander everybody on
the Internet, it was 'journalism.' When anybody wrote about us, it
was despicable. When mom and I used to mock and ridicule everybody
on the Internet, it was 'clever' and 'witty.' When anybody would make fun
of us, it was 'reprehensible.'”

Commenting on Jackie Danicki--the winner of the new award, Fox News/News Corp.
Criminal-In-Chief Rupert Murdoch said, “Do you really want this woman around your
clients? Do you really want this woman around your children? Around your pets?
Around your bedbugs?”


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS SO WANTED TO DISCREDIT PRESIDENT OBAMA THAT THEY
WENT AHEAD AND SCOOPED ALL THE OTHER NETWORKS--WITH
THE ABSOLUTELY WRONG INFORMATION ON THE SUPREME COURT
DECISION ON OBAMACARE.


MILLIONS OF VIEWERS WERE GIVEN THE TOTALLY WRONG INFORMATION AS TO THE
DECISION MADE BY THE SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES.

FOX NEWS IS A DISGRACE TO THE LEGACY OF REPORTING NEWS IN AMERICA.

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THE REAL CONCLUSION OF A PANEL INVESTIGATING CRIMINAL
ACTIVITY OF NEWS CORPORATION



Rupert Murdoch: "NOT FIT"

 to run a major company


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS HAS ITS FEELINGS HURT AND THREATENS TO SUE
WEBSITE THAT DARES MAKE FUN OF IT.

FOX NEWS/NEWS CORP., THE CRIMINAL PROPAGANDA SERVICE
WHICH HAS BEEN COMMITTING FELONIES HACKING INTO
HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE'S PHONES AND ILLEGALLY PAYING OFF
LAW ENFORCEMENT ORGANIZATIONS FOR INFORMATION--
IS THREATENING www.gawker.com AFTER THAT WEBSITE RAN
PERSONAL OPINION FROM A FORMER FOX EMPLOYEE, MAKING
FUN OF THEIR ORGANIZATION.

IN ONE OF THE MOST HYPOCRITICAL EVENTS IN MEDIA HISTORY,
FOX NEWS HAD ATTORNEYS SEND THIS THREATENING LETTER
TO THE WEBSITE WHICH IT IS ACCUSING OF
"CRIMINAL AND CIVIL WRONGDOING"

 
THE CRIMINALS AT FOX NEWS/NEWS CORP. WHO HAVE HAD
30 OF THEIR TOP EXECUTIVES ARRESTED IN EUROPE WHILE A
 CRIMINAL INVESTIGATION IS ONGOING, HAVE THE AUDACITY TO
 TELL A WEBSITE THAT IT CANNOT PUBLISH A FORMER FOX NEWS
EMPLOYEE'S HILARIOUS OPINIONS OF THEM. THESE PEOPLE ARE SICK.

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SOLAR ACTIVITY AND ITS EFFECTS ON EARTH

CLICK ON PHOTO TO INCREASE SIZE



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satire based on real statements

 CULT LEADER ROY MASTERS
 FURIOUS WITH RUSH LIMBAUGH
 FOR DEGRADING WOMEN!
 








Cult Leader Roy Masters is furious with Rush Limbaugh
for degrading women. Limbaugh, who called a woman
a "slut" and a "prostitute" made national news all week long
for attacking a female college student with a series of
reprehensible insults.


"For over ten years, I regularly said
'All Women Are Whores' and "All Women Are Prostitutes'
[Ed. Note: These Are Exact Statements]
and nobody even noticed except for some crazy Jewish
guy who makes fun of me at www.roymasters.com"
said the perturbed cult leader Roy Masters.

"I did not wind up on the front page of ABC, MSNBC, CBS,
CNN, NYTimes and every other major news website and
I did it for over 10 years! I deserve some credit!
I was degrading women when Rush Limbaugh was nothing
but a disco dancing fat slob!

The media is biased. When Rush Limbaugh does it, it is headline
news everywhere. When I did it, all I got was this lousy website,"
exclaimed the agitated cult leader, exorcist and self-proclaimed physicist.
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satire


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satire

PRESS RELEASE
The Heartless Institute
www.heartlessinstitute.org
Contact: Jim Lakeleech
Communications Director

Angry Birds Attack Jim Lakeleech and Joe Bastard


After posting a paper which advocates allowing factories to double the amount of
pollution being emitted from their smokestacks, the Heartless Institute's
Jim Lakeleech and Joe Bastard were attacked by dozens of angry birds as they
took a casual beach stroll together on Chicago's lakefront.



The EPA has concluded that the birds organized to respond to
the policy of the Heartless Institute.


"What good are birds anyway?," said Jim Lakeleech.
"They don't contribute to our economy or provide any kind
of resources for our consumption. What's important here

is that factories be able to produce more material goods
regardless of the pollution, toxins and chemicals that spill into the air."


Joe Bastard, president of the Heartless Institute agreed.
"At least dogs and cats are warm and cuddly.
Birds? So we lose a few million here or there.

Nobody's going to really notice."


Jim Lakeleech and Joe Bastard have decided to carry umbrellas
with them from now on in case of another angry bird attack.





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satire
AP News - Cupertino, CA 
Users Of The New iphone 4s Have Unknowingly
Committed To Allowing Fox News/News Corp.
To Hack Into Their Phones At Anytime

                By Michael Y. Park

       In a recent much publicized meeting between
late Apple founder Steve Jobs and
Fox News/News Corp. CEO
Rupert Murdoch, an agreement was reached
that will allow Fox News and News Corp. to
hack into the phones of anybody that signed up
for the newest version of the popular device.

       However, the details were contained in such

tiny print that consumers have failed to even read
or notice the insertion in the newest contract.


       AP has obtained a copy of the seven page
contract which consumers sign when purchasing
the newest model of the phone and subsequent cell
service. The paragraph is hidden among other
standard cell phone terms.


       "Signee of this agreement will allow both
Fox News/News Corp. to hack into their phone
at anytime, anyplace and anywhere during the
term of this contract. Signee agrees that audio
conversations recorded may be used for any
purpose by any affiliate of Fox News/News Corp."


        Upon contacting Rupert Murdoch, AP was
given the following statement. 
"I guess you guys found it. You know that phone
hacking scandal that cost us pending business deals and required me to act like I really cared about the
murdered teenage girl whose phone we hacked into,
well that cost us $3.2 million to her family to pretend
we really were sorry, that's a lot of change we could
be using to spread our right-winged propaganda!
My sons and I figured that the only way to continue
to hack into people's phones was to do it legally--
but very quietly.  So we worked out this deal and
we can now hack into the phones of millions of people
without them knowing anything about it!
This story won't be covered on Fox News or any
of our other sleazy media outlets, so we have nothing
to worry about."

AP employees were immediately instructed to
get rid of their new iphone 4s and purchase
Android phones instead.


        

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 THIS IS REAL
If you haven't heard, criminal Rupert Murdoch and his
criminal organization Fox News/News Corp. has decided
to pay the family of the murdered teenage girl whose phone
they hacked into so they could get a scoop hearing the parents pleading for the girl to contact them -- $3.2 Million Dollars.

That dirtbag Murdoch and his up-to-15 arrested
top management employees believe they can buy their
way out of anything regardless of the crimes committed.


Fox News is the scum of the Earth!







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
parody of Rupert Murdoch's apology
RUPERT MURDOCH HAS ISSUED AN APOLOGY IN NEWSPAPERS WORLDWIDE:

We Are Sorry That We Got Caught.

The News Of The World, like the rest of my news organizations including Fox News are in the
business of offering the sleaziest, distorted and
twisted versions of reality that we can possibly create.


We are not at all sorry for the serious wrongdoing
that occurred.
We are not at all deeply sorry for the hurt suffered by
the individuals affected.

We regret not acting faster to sort things out by having all
of our controlled right-winged media zombies
run spins on everything to further cover up everything we have done.

Since we got caught red-handed, I realize that simply apologizing

is not enough. I am personally going to have Sean Hannity
lick all of your shoes while groveling in a fetal position.

Our business was founded on the idea that we can distort and twist
the news enough to spread my right-winged brainwashing agenda
throughout the world. We need to live up to this.

In the coming days, as we take further concrete steps to
distract and cover up these issues and find scapegoats
to blame everything on, you will hear more from us.
Where's Charlie Sheen when you really need him?












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satire





Media Mogul's 

Body Discovered

       


 Rupert Murdoch, the controversial media mogul, has reportedly been found dead in his garden, police announce.
Murdoch, aged 80, has said to have ingested a large quantity of palladium before stumbling into his famous topiary garden late last night, passing out in the early hours of the morning.
“We found the chemicals sitting beside a kitchen table, recently cooked,” one officer states. “From what we can gather, Murdoch melted and consumed large quantities of it before exiting into his garden.”
Authorities would not comment on whether this was a planned suicide, though the general consensus among locals and unnamed sources is that this is the case.
One detective elaborates. “Officers on the scene report a broken glass, a box of vintage wine, and what seems to be a family album strewn across the floor, containing images from days gone by; some containing handpainted portraits of Murdoch in his early days, donning a top hat and monocle.”
Another officer reveals that Murdoch was found slumped over a particularly large garden hedge fashioned into a galloping horse.

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THIS IS REAL
SCUM OF THE EARTH -
FOX NEWS AND ITS OWNER
RUPERT MURDOCH


HEADLINE WORLDWIDE TODAY: "FBI Probing Allegation That News Corp. Sought to Hack Into Phones of 9/11 Victims"




YOU CAN READ THE STORY EVERYWHERE--
EXCEPT FOR FOX NEWS.
READ IT HERE AT ABCNEWS.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL


THE MAJOR STORY WORLDWIDE TODAY IS THAT
FOX NEWS' PARENT COMPANY HACKED INTO A MURDERED BRITISH TEENAGE GIRLS'
CELL PHONE AND IN DOING SO, ALSO HAMPERED A POLICE INVESTIGATION OF HER ABDUCTION AND MURDER.


YOU CAN READ THE STORY EVERYWHERE--
EXCEPT FOR FOX NEWS.


What do Rupert Murdoch, Fox News, Roger Ailes and the
British tabloid News Of The World all have in common
They are all the same company and march to the same drummer.


The story and scandal is worldwide today on every major news web site except for Fox News.


Read the story here on ABCNews or every other major web site.


Even the British Prime Minister is condemning the action of Fox News' parent Company.


Here are what average people are saying about the Fox News organization:


"Rupert Murdoch is the one who needs a good long prison term, in solitary confinement, FOR LIFE."



"Well, well, well.
Just look at what sleazebag owns this worthless rag."

 "They need to be JAILED!" This isn't journalism in any way, shape, or form. This is identity fraud, tampering, and probably several other crimes."


"It is owned by Murdoch and shows how slimmy his businesses have become, terrible. Faux News has lead the country in a downward trend too."



"Rupert Murdock is a slimebag and should be imprisoned for his assault on the institution of journalism and basic human decency. He is a parasite on the modern world and I hope his time on earth is short so he has less time to inflict his virulent version of despair on the world."
"Down with Faux News and down with News Of The World."

"This is proof we need to ban Fox News. They are pushing fascist propaganda and destroying democracy - they should be fined for breaching the American trust and their rights to public airways should be revoked. Down with Murdoch, down with his corporate fascist agenda!"


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL
The Perverted and Pornographic HYPOCRITES at Fox News are outraged that a school gave a survey on Oral Sex to seventh graders. In the story, Fox News demonstrates just how incensed
it is over the quiz. “One of the questions is, ‘have you ever had oral sex,’”

School Surveys 7th-Graders on Oral Sex

Published June 15, 2011
 FoxNews.com

HOWEVER...
Fox News knows all about Oral Sex.
Especially when they were encouraging teenagers to engage in the practice in a recent article:
  
Fox on Sex: The Joys of Oral Sex
Friday, February 26, 2010

"People love oral. It’s ultimately irresistible."

"Oral sex has become widely acceptable. Pursued by people of all orientations, from the teen years up." 


"Some women can climax only from this most intimate of sexual pleasures, thanks to the hub of her pleasure, the clitoris, getting ample attention."

"He also likes that his lover is doing all of the work and that he can just relax."

"Encourage your lover to explore sex resources that portray oral sex in a healthy light, depicting it as natural, normal, and beautiful more than anything."

"Talk about how much you’re savoring this sexual moment, before sitting back and enjoying all the exquisite eroticism to be had with the tip of the tongue."



 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL


According to New York Magazine, an associate of Roger Ailes--chief pervert at Fox News,
told the magazine what he had to say about Sarah Palin.

"He thinks Palin is an idiot. He thinks she's stupid."

Apparently Roger has some common sense after all.


 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

satire

George Bush Tried to Teach Fox News Reporters How to Read, Speak During His Administration, Report Says


FoxNews.com



 








A new report reveals that George Bush tried to train Fox News Reporters to talk, read and spell during his administration in an attempt to build an army of 'fearsome' speaking reporters, according to the Daily Telegraph.


George Bush created a special school in the 2000s to teach the reporters to talk, and apparently it worked, according to the report.
One reporter allegedly uttered the words "Mein Fuhrer" when asked who George Bush was and another "spoke" by tapping the letters of the alphabet with its fingers.
The "W-SS" experiment was uncovered by Dr. Jan Bondeson, a senior lecturer at Cardiff University.
"There were some very strange experiments going on during the Bush Administration with regard to the Fox Reporter-human communication," Bondeson told the Daily Telegraph.
"George Bush was himself interested in the prospect of using educated Fox News reporters in the war effort, and he advised representatives of the U.S. army to study their usefulness in the field," he continued.
According to the report, one of the Fox News reporters speculated about religion, learned foreign languages and wrote poetry.
The Fox News Reporter school was based in Crawford, Texas and was led by headmistress Ann Coulter. The school continued throughout the Bush Administration.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL


A TYPICAL DAY IN AMERICA.
ANOTHER LYING, CHEATING, HYPOCRITICAL RIGHT WINGER.

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL





-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
satire
The biggest story in world news today is that Osama Bin Laden's room in Pakistan was found to be filled with pornography. Today, the Defense Dept. released this photo of Osama Bin Laden watching Porn on TV.



 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL
 Rush Limbaugh is Disgusting



The average American continued to be caught up in the pride and
emotion of the moment the day after Osama Bin Laden was
captured by America's military. That even extended to Rush Limbaugh
who spent an hour praising President Obama. We knew it
couldn't last long. Limbaugh must have listened to himself the
day earlier because he spent the next day tearing the President
apart and giving all of the credit for the operation to
George W. Bush. He then spent the next two weeks disparaging
every day, every hour. Limbaugh's sudden turn was vicious and
disgraceful, going so far as to calling the people in the
situation room watching the event "clowns."
Limbaugh realized that as a controlled right-wing maniac,
it was his obligation to parrot the party line and his praise
of Obama and his staff was a moment of weakness--simply
not allowed. Limbaugh is just disgusting and evil.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS ARE HYPOCRITICAL PERVERTS AND PORNOGRAPHERS


A major front page story on Fox News this weekend is about a woman who
is protesting the sex education book her child received at school.

The article entitled:
"Washington State Mom Files Complaint Against
School Over Sex-Ed Book"
focuses on Fox News' outrage that a 10-year-old would receive a book
that emphasizes masturbation.

Quote from the story:
"This is one of the first that definitely caught my eye, talking about masturbation
when you are 10 years old. What do you need to read that for?"

Yes, what do you need a book like that for when your child can easily come to the front page of FOX NEWS.COM to learn all about the joys of masturbation?


The hypocrite perverts and pornographers at Fox News
recently ran this "how to" "Fox on Sex" article: 



Fox on Sex: Try More Solo Sex


QUOTES FROM THEIR STORY:

"It’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s fantastic for you. And all you need is to be alone."

"Masturbation. Sounds like you’re up to no good. But self-pleasure really is nothing but good."
"But this is one act that’s an equal opportunity pleaser. All you have to do is let go."

"It doesn’t matter if you’re alone in the bedroom, the bathroom, or the family room, as long as you can pretty much guarantee privacy, you can do it."

"It’s simple to do. Erotic reading or film viewing can add a little spice and there are plenty of products to help you along."

"There are fun accessories. There are all kinds of great toys out there to help you get the job done."


"Perhaps best of all, you don’t have to settle for just any warm body just because you’re in need of a little nookie. The only player you need … is you."

"Everyone’s always saying how important it is to take some time for yourself. So, isn’t it time for you to take a little true “me time?”"


FOX NEWS ARE SICK HYPOCRITES.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

SATIRE ROY MASTERS SPECIAL GUEST AT ROYAL WEDDING










London -- British Born-Cult Leader Roy Masters was a special guest at the Royal Wedding of
Prince William and his lovely bride Kate Middleton. "We could not have held this wedding
without his approval and great wisdom," said the dapper Prince William at today's
extravagant ceremony in London at Westminster Abbey.
     "Both William and I do his meditation exercises on a daily basis," said the
 Queen-in-waiting just before the two were officially married.
"Through his constant scolding of the American people, Roy has brought the best in
British manners and ways to those uncultured hooligans," exclaimed the
Royal couple.
     "Although for 25 years, I said that 'all women are whores,' I will make an
exception today in consideration of this charming ceremony--at least until he
has to start dealing with her behind the castle walls," said Masters.
  Roy was attired in a suit from Hugo Boss and a tie from Gucci.
 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 SATIRE









  ROY MASTERS UNVEILS HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE
                          


After years of pressure from listeners, political enemies and average people,
cult leader Roy Masters has unveiled his official birth certificate.

                                                                    (click twice to enlarge)

When doubts began to grow that Roy was not really
from England and was putting on a phony accent just to charm
Americans into sending him money, the question of
Roy's real origin became a national priority.

"He's a phony!" said a disgruntled listener of Roy's.
"I sent him money only because he mesmerized me
with that seductive British accent. He's no more from
England than is Leonardo DiCaprio!"

After a national media movement began to determine
if Roy really was from England, he finally decided to
release his official birth certificate for everybody to see.

"There!," said Roy today in his trademark accent.
"Now you can all send me money again."

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  SATIRE
FOX NEWS AND THE HEARTLESSINSTITUTE.ORG  COMMENT ON SAFE NUCLEAR ENERGY.



PRESS RELEASE
The Heartless Institute
Contact: Jim Lakeleech
Communications Director

Joe Bastard Comments On Safe Nuclear Energy




Such a fuss they are all making!

A little bit of radiation and radioactivity escapes from a Japanese nuclear plant
and you'd think the world is going to end!

Nuclear energy is a safe product. Sure every few years, something
unexpected occurs and a bit of low level radiation gets out,
no big deal!  You get low level radiation daily without even knowing
it!

That big screen TV you have on 20 hours a day emits constant levels
of low level radiation! Has it ever hurt you? Of course not!

The cell phones Americans are on all day long also provide you
with a tiny jolt of that trivial stuff!

So do modern lighting and even the computer
you are reading this from! And every time you overweight
Americans use that microwave, well, it's a
low level radiation Fourth of July!

And let's not forget our old pal Sol!
The sun is a constant supplier of radioactivity,
but we couldn't live without it? Could we?

When somebody says to you,
"you look radiant today!," where do you
think the phrase comes from? Actually,
a little radioactivity in your life makes you
shine like a twinkling star!

Nuclear Energy is a safe product that we cannot
live without!

Joe Bastard 




 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL

Fox News is very aware that an organization calling itself TAX MASTERS
is a FRAUD. Fox News is very aware that the company which in its
advertisements claims it can negotiate the amount you owe to the IRS
down to a small fraction, is a FRAUD. Fox News is very aware that
numerous state attorney generals have been investigating the
organization for having scammed average people of amounts ranging
from $2000--$6000, for which they receive nothing but promises.

However, Fox News has no conscience about continuing to take in
hundreds of thousands of dollars for running the ads for
Tax Masters on the Fox News Network.

And the ads that clearly imply that Tax Masters has some special
pull with the IRS which will result with you paying just a fraction of
what you owe them, continue to air all day on Fox News.

Thousands of people who have used Tax Masters find out that they owe
even more on interest when they discover that Tax Masters was not
capable of accomplishing anything--and the money they gave to
Tax Masters upfront--is gone forever.

Fox is a criminal conspirator in this fraud that is taking advantage of
struggling Americans.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL
FOX NEWS SPENT ONE ENTIRE WEEK ATTACKING BILL MAHER BECAUSE
HE CALLED SARAH PALIN A "TWAT." FOX NEWS IS SUDDENLY CONCERNED
ABOUT WOMEN BEING DISPARAGED AND DEMONSTRATED FOR OVER A
WEEK  THAT THEY WILL NOT STAND FOR ANY WOMEN TO BE CALLED
NAMES.
 THAT IS UNLESS YOU ARE A NOTORIOUS
RIGHT WINGER WHO DOES THE SAME THING.
A WHILE BACK, FOX NEWS MADE A
FOX NEWS "SUPERHERO," OUT OF 
SELF-APPOINTED RADIO ADVICE PREACHER
ROY MASTERS (www.roymasters.com)

FOR 25 YEARS, MASTERS REGULARLY SAID:
"All Women are Whores"
"All Women are Prostitutes"
"The Downfall of America Began When Women Got The Vote"
"Women Are The Cause of  All the Misery and
Suffering On Earth"
and countless hours of degrading attacks on women.

But for being a right-wing maniac, he's a
Fox News Superhero! and the same rules do not apply.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL.



GO TO THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE PAGE OF FOX NEWS AND READ:

"This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistrubted. ©2011 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. All market data delayed 20 minutes."

REMEMBER THAT THEIR MATERIAL MAY NOT BE "REDISTRUBTED"

IT HAS BEEN THAT WAY FOR WEEKS.
FOX NEWS DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO PROOFREAD.

LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR THEM TO CORRECT
 THIS. (ONE MONTH LATER STILL NOT FIXED)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS INSERTS OUTDATED FOOTAGE TO FOOL THE PUBLIC



As they have done previously in the past, Fox News has again tried to mislead the public by inserting outdated footage from another time in order to push their current agenda.

This time the victim is Rep. Ron Paul of Texas. They do not want to see him winning the Conservative vote.

In order to make him look bad, Fox News commented on him winning this year's Conservative Political Action Conference's presidential straw poll by inserting footage of him being booed by the organization.

The problem: He was booed at that convention last year in 2010 and that's what they showed you to make you think he is not wanted by the majority of that organization.

In 2011, this year he was applauded and cheered for winning that vote.
They did not show you that.

Watch what these liars did for yourself here:

FOX NEWS INTENTIONALLY INSERTS MISLEADING FOOTAGE


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL

RUSH LIMBAUGH--THE OXYCONTIN BABY HYPOCRITE!

On today's show, Rush Limbaugh was focusing on his belief that the Egyptian President
Mubarak was getting no support from the Obama Administration. He claimed that Obama's lack
of action was making the pressured Egyptian leader fail.

Then out came this gem:
"Isn't that the worst thing you can do? Hope a leader will fail?"

 We only need to look a few years back on President Obama's first day
 in office. Limbuagh stated the following that day: "I Hope Obama Fails!"

Too much Oxycontin still stored in Limbaugh's body baby fat is making him an outright HYPOCRITE!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL
FOX NEWS--THE MORAL SAVIOR OF AMERICA!


THE PORNOGRAPHER HYPOCRITES AT FOX NEWS SPENT THE LAST 3 DAYS ON THEIR FRONT PAGE ATTACKING THE PORNOGRAPHERS AT MTV.

FOX NEWS' MAJOR STORY ON THEIR FRONT PAGE FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT WAS AN ATTACK ON MTV FOR THEIR NEW SHOW, "SKINS."

FOX CALLED THE NEW TEEN SHOW, PORNOGRAPHY, AND ACTED LIKE IT WAS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO LEAD A CAMPAIGN RIDDING THE AIRWAVES OF THIS PERVERTED SHOW.

YET, FOX NEWS HAS BEEN RUNNING A SERIES OF PORNOGRAPHIC ARTICLES OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS, ALL DESIGNED TO GET YOU TO KEEP COMING TO THEIR WEBSITE.
FOR EXAMPLE. IN AN ARTICLE WHICH RECOMMENDED ALL AMERICANS TO ENGAGE IN ORAL SEX (THE COMPLETE ARTICLE IS ON THIS WEBSITE FURTHER DOWN), FOX NEWS EVEN ENCOURAGED TEENAGERS TO PARTICIPATE:


Fox on Sex: The Joys of Oral Sex

Friday, February 26, 2010

"People love oral. It’s ultimately irresistible."

"Oral sex has become widely acceptable. Pursued by people of all orientations, from the teen years up." 

HYPOCRITES! HYPOCRITES! HYPOCRITES!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EDITORIAL

Sarah Palin's Tuscon Tragedy Speech says more about her shortcomings than all of her publicity stunts put together.



Sarah Palin's speech the other day in which she talks about what happened in Tuscon tells you a great deal about her. It's bad enough that she was using a teleprompter when she was supposedly trying to appear heartfelt and spontaneous.

We've all heard her non-stop for the last three years and as a result, we are quite familiar with her lack of vocabulary, lack of knowledge of history and an inability to formulate an intellectual argument or concept.


From the moment she began talking, it was clear that these were not her words. They were written by somebody else, a professional speechwriter. The red flags were college level vocabulary words that she simply does not use, the sudden ability on-the-spot to quote a rather obscure statement from Ronald Reagan and the formulation of intellectual concepts beyond her grasp.


Now, everybody uses professional speechwriters including every President of the modern era.


But she has always tried to demonstrate a grass roots understanding of the common people.
And when she has used her normal shortcomings, the average people can relate to what she's saying.

If she had known what a "blood libel" even was, she probably would not have said anything about it.


But she decided to use somebody else's words to make her appear to be something she is not.


The greatest thing the Republican party can do for the Democrats is to nominate her for President.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

Meet One Of Fox's Little Helpers:   The Heartland Institute



Because you may not believe where major corporations
stand on issues such as global warming, environmental catastrophes, pollution, genetically modified food and damages from smoking...
The Heartland Institute pretends that they are a totally objective
think tank which looks at the issues in a fair manner. And in an amazing coincidence, their findings are always exactly in line with the major corporations.
Who funds the Heartland Institute?... Major corporations.
But their policy is not to reveal the names of their contributors.
They now join our Fox Noose Network.
Read our take on them at:   www.heartlessinstitute.org




---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL


FOX NEWS HAS A NEW YEAR'S GIFT FOR YOU:

 MORE PORNO AND PERVERSION!


THE PORNOGRAPHERS AND PERVERTS AT FOX NEWS HAVE DECIDED TO START THE YEAR OUT RIGHT WITH MORE LEWD AND OBSCENE MATERIALS FEATURED ON THEIR FRONT PAGE:

 

8 Myths About Women's Bodies Debunked

“While the clitoris IS crucial to most women's arousal and orgasm, every woman has different preferences regarding its stimulation. It's not a doorbell, and you can't just push it to be let inside!" 
 
“ Nipple stimulation is a must for getting a woman aroused. Some women LOVE nipple stroking, licking and sucking, and some can even orgasm this way.”

“More than half of women (some studies say way more than half) don't orgasm during intercourse. In fact, more important than duration of intercourse for many women may be how aroused she was when it began -- which means all the sexy stuff that comes before intercourse may be the most important element. If you're going to worry about time, remember that minutes (or hours) spent on that kind of pleasuring is time well-spent.”

“A recent study revealed that men thought their female partners orgasmed about 20 percent more often than they actually did. Apparently it’s common for a woman to fake her orgasm, and the very best way to know if it's happening is to talk to her intimately to make sure you know what truly works for her -- and then do those things! She won't even think about faking orgasm if she's having an orgasm.”

WHY DON'T ALL YOU RIGHT-WINGERS SHARE THAT WITH ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL 
 

Roy Masters - One of "Fox's Little Helpers" proclaimed
publicly on the radio that he was glad that John Lennon had died.
(read an expose of Roy at www.roymasters.com)




 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SATIRE

Rush Limbaugh Goes Through Airport Scanner.
Results Reveal Unusual Anatomical Structure!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zkVKi_2sim8/TOSDfVgZIVI/AAAAAAAAArQ/Wwf3HbwSGf4/s1600/foxlogo.jpg


Rush Limbaugh joined hundreds of other Americans this weekend as he
was scrutinized by a full-body X-Ray Machine on his way to a golf
tournament from the Miami Airport. However, security was quickly called as the
result of Limbaugh's scan. Never having dealt with a situation as was revealed
by Limbaugh's presence, the TSA quickly rushed their chief medical officer
to the scene for an analysis.

"It's really quite simple," said the TSA head doctor.
"Rush Limbaugh's head is a giant empty space and his
brain resides instead in his Gluteus Maximus. Quite unusual, but we
saw the same thing with George W. Bush when he was undergoing his
Presidential physical. Nothing to be concerned about."

The TSA says that they were still concerned that Limbaugh could
place a weapon of mass destruction in his empty head cavity but
they were soon relieved when it was explained to them that it was
already completely filled with a lot of hot air.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zkVKi_2sim8/TOSDR-tcVJI/AAAAAAAAArI/4IXeAUm3QJU/s1600/bodyscannerlimbaugh1.jpg



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS CLAIMS THAT FELONS WHO SHOULD HAVE HAD NO VOTING RIGHTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR MAKING AL FRANKEN SENATOR FROM MINNESOTA.


ACCORDING TO AMERICA'S RIGHT WING PROPAGANDA MACHINE:

"The six-month election recount that turned former "Saturday Night Live" comedian Al Franken into a U.S. senator may have been decided by convicted felons who voted illegally in Minnesota's Twin Cities.
That's the finding of an 18-month study conducted by Minnesota Majority, a conservative watchdog group, which found that at least 341 convicted felons in largely Democratic Minneapolis-St. Paul voted illegally in the 2008 Senate race between Franken, a Democrat, and his Republican opponent, then-incumbent Sen. Norm Coleman."

AS USUAL, FOX NEWS' SLANTED STORIES ARE MISSING ALL OF THE FACTS:
1. THERE IS NO PROOF THAT THESE PEOPLE ILLEGALLY VOTED AND MAY HAVE VERY WELL HAD THEIR VOTING PRIVILEGES RESTORED AT SOME TIME.
2. JUST FOR THE SAKE OF IT, LET'S PRETEND THAT THEY ALL HAD NO RIGHT TO VOTE BUT VOTED ANYWAY. THERE IS NO PROOF AS TO WHO THEY VOTED FOR. THEY MAY HAVE VOTED FOR THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE AS EASILY AS THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE.
ONCE AGAIN, FOX NEWS PROVES WHAT MORONS THEY ARE.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL






FOX NEWS ATTACKS PAUL McCARTNEY FOR A SECOND TIME THIS MONTH!

Fox News believes that Paul McCartney is not allowed an opinion--only they and their rightwing media maniac friends are allowed that privilege.

For the second time this month, Fox News has attacked Paul McCartney for expressing his opinion.

This time the legendary Beatle compared those who deny Global Warming as being the same as Holocaust Deniers.



Even more incredible than their slanted story, Fox News intentionally allows deplorable comments to be posted by their brainwashed followers:

"What an idiot.....that's the last 15.00 he gets from me. F' you Mcfartney!"

"Hey Paulie- STFU you stupid libtard. Bloody tosser- bite me. Manmade Global warming is a LIE. Obama SUCKS and so do YOU."

"This poor over-the-hill lad from Liverpool has obviously fried his brain. Heather saw what a fool he was and took him for the ride of his life....laughing all the way to the bank. America is through with this quack!"

"Just not stoppin' with this moron, ist it. I wish he'd get back to where he once belonged. We don't need another looney tune here."

"Now we have a pot smoking limey from Liverpool that made some money and now has turned into a brilliant global weather expert. What next?"

"Tell this dumb brit to go back to england and take obama with him and bp to. I have no use for paul mc cartney our any other brit right now."

"well i guess we no now who the liberal was who broke up the band after all,i never thought in a million years i would burn my paul mcCartney sh-t but its in the barrel right now goinh strong my only saddness is the that piece of sh-t is not in there burning with it ,never again will i speak the name paul mcCARTNEY with out currsing it drop dead you waist of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Shut Up and sing Paul...f*ing walrus."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS ARE HYPOCRITES!











FOX NEWS RAN A STORY TODAY ATTACKING PLANNED PARENTHOOD FOR EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS THEY HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST FEW MONTHS!

Fox News ran a story today in which they claim that a Planned Parenthood organization in Iowa was engaged in graphic sexual instruction:

"Graphic Sex Ed Class Under Fire

By Todd Starnes
Published June 22, 2010
| FOXNews.com
Parents are outraged after young teenagers were instructed on graphic sexual acts during a Planned Parenthood sex education class at the local high school in Shenandoah, Iowa.
“It was horribly inappropriate,” Colleen Dostal told Fox News Radio. “To do that in a mixed-gender classroom, — I truly believe it was inappropriate.”
Dostal’s 14-year-old son was one of a handful of eighth graders in the class. The students, she said, were given instruction on how to perform female exams and the instructor used a 3-D, anatomically correct male sex organ to explain how to use a condom."

YET, OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS...
FOX NEWS HAS POSTED ORIGINAL STORIES ON THEIR WEB SITE IN WHICH THEY TELL YOU (DETAILS ARE POSTED IN STORIES BELOW):
1. HOW TO MASTURBATE
2. THE JOYS OF ORAL SEX
3. HOW TO CHOOSE A VIBRATOR
4. HOW TO ENGAGE IN EROTIC SPANKING
AND LAST SUMMER, IN ORDER TO ENTICE YOU TO COME TO THEIR WEB SITE,
FOX NEWS POSTED THE FOLLOWING PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURE ON THEIR FRONT PAGE:

























FOX NEWS ARE HYPOCRITES!





-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SATIRE

FOX NEWS PLACES WARNING LABEL ON ITS WEBSITE








FOX NEWS has placed a warning label on its website that warns readers that “This website is a product of its time and does not reflect the same values as it would if it were written twenty years ago or earlier."
The disclaimer goes on to tell parents that they "might wish to discuss with their children how the shoddy, slanted propaganda that is contained throughout the Fox News website is an unfortunate excuse for what used to be standardized and acceptable journalism."
The warning seems to be offending more people than the website itself.
Amazon.com’s customer reviews of the Fox News website show an overwhelming number of people speaking out against the disclaimer, describing it as “insulting,” “sickening” and “frankly, horrifying.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS ATTACKS PAUL McCARTNEY














FOX NEWS, the slanted propaganda service which on a daily basis attacks, smears and slanders anybody that doesn't subscribe to their right wing babble, has attacked legendary Beatle Paul McCartney.

As Paul received his Gershwin Award from the President the other day, he noted:
"It's a fantastic honor (for) the Gershwin family to give me this incredible award and for me to be awarded it by the Library of Congress. And in fact, after the last eight years, it's great to have a president who knows what a library is."

Apparently, a man like Paul McCartney is not allowed to express a political opinion about George Bush--the cocaine sniffing, military service evading, alcoholic President who destroyed America and walked (actually stumbled) all over the Constitution in eight horrible years.

However, Fox News can attack and smear President Obama on a daily basis and that is acceptable.

Fox News even has allowed its brainwashed sheep to attack McCartney with some of the most deplorable statements which it is allowing online.

"Mark David Chapman shot the wrong Beatle" says a Fox News fan in a comment which the company has allowed to be posted online.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pleasure, enjoyment and good feelings has Paul McCartney given to you over the years?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much pleasure, enjoyment and good feelings has George W. Bush given to you over the years?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SATIRE

FOX NEWS SELECTED TO CREATE U.S. HISTORY BOOK FOR TEXAS PUBLIC SCHOOLS




With a battle raging in Texas as to how the information will be updated in the new version of the U.S. History books for public school students, Fox News has stepped in and has offered to create the schoolbook. The offer has been accepted by the superintendent for public schools in Texas.

"Everybody knows that Fox News is Fair and Balanced, and they will bring their fairness and balanceness to the new version of the textbook. Students should be delighted to know that Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh have edited the material."

THE COVER OF THE NEW BOOK AND SOME OF ITS PAGES:
































---------------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS IS REAL


MORE ORAL SEX FRONT PAGE FEATURES FROM www.foxnews.com

The perverts and pornographers at Fox News have decided the public needs more oral sex features. On their FRONT PAGE today, they have this HEADLINE AND LINK:
May 21, 2010 | 1:46 PM ET
Kendra Wilkinson gives neck workout tips to improve oral sex in new video
Kendra's Oral Sexercise
FOX411: 'Girls Next Door' star in new exercise video promoting neck exercises to improve, well...

AND THIS LINKS TO THEIR STORY WITH THIS PHOTO:


Kendra, Kendra, Kendra.
Maybe making videotapes isn't your strong suit.
In a month that has seen a sex tape emerge that she made with a MMA fighter when she was 18, plus a report of another sex tape she made with a woman, comes this.
Footage for a workout video has emerged with the star of the eponymous reality show giving pointers on working out your neck.
You know, for oral sex!
"I think we should start warming up our neck," she says on the video posted on US magazine.com, which appeared online. "We're about to get down and dirty. It's also good for [oral sex] and everything."
"You've got to strengthen those neck muscles to [unintelligible] your man," she continues.
Keeping it classy!

IT'S TOO BAD THAT FOX NEWS DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO KEEP IT CLASSY.

WHY WAS THIS FRONT PAGE STORY NECESSARY?

THE LAST FEW MONTHS HAVE SEEN A CONTINUAL STREAM OF LEWD, OBSCENE AND PORNOGRAPHIC ARTICLES PROMOTING ORAL SEX BY FOX NEWS.

THIS IS YOUR CONSERVATIVE, FAMILY VALUES, ALL-AMERICAN NEWS NETWORK AT WORK!
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THIS IS REAL

Fox News needs to spend some of the money they make on running scam advertisements for scam web sites and hire a PROOFREADER before they make their shoddy journalism available to the public.
Updated May 12, 2010
PRESIDENT

"9 Indicted on Charges of Accessing Obama's Student Loan Records

Nine people have been indicated in federal court on charges they accessed President Obama's student loan records while they were employed for a Department of Education contractor in Iowa.
The U.S. attorney's office says a grand jury returned the indictments Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Davenport."

(We're so glad these people were "indicated")
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THIS IS REAL

THE HYPOCRITICAL PERVERTS AND PORNOGRAPHERS AT FOX NEWS--YOUR MORAL LEADER--POSTED THIS AS ONE OF THEIR TOP STORIES TODAY:

"Florida State Senator Filmed Viewing Pornographic Image During Floor Debate
FOXNews.com
A Florida state senator was caught looking at pornographic material last week in the middle of debate on the Senate floor.
Sunshine State News filmed video of Republican state Sen. Mike Bennett apparently looking at an e-mail that showed four women in bikinis. The video blacks out the naughty parts, but according to the report the women had their tops exposed.
The senator can be seen viewing the image for a few seconds and then closing the window on his computer."
YET, IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS, (DETAILS ARE FURTHER BELOW IN VARIOUS STORIES)
FOX NEWS HAS POSTED ORIGINAL STORIES ON THEIR WEB SITE IN WHICH THEY TELL YOU:
1. HOW TO MASTURBATE
2. THE JOYS OF ORAL SEX
3. HOW TO CHOOSE A VIBRATOR
AND LAST SUMMER, IN ORDER TO ENTICE YOU TO COME TO THEIR WEB SITE,
FOX NEWS POSTED THE FOLLOWING PORNOGRAPHIC PICTURE ON THEIR FRONT PAGE:

































APPARENTLY, FOX NEWS CAN HAVE A FREE PASS ON ANYTHING, NO MATTER HOW INDECENT, IMMORAL AND DEPRAVED.
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THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS = IDIOTIC JOURNALISM



Fox News can't even present a fun interest story the correct way.

THIS IS A STORY THEY PRESENTED TODAY:






/static/all/img
de5f5ef03a648210VgnVCM100000a0c1a8c0RCRD
/us/2010/04/28/wisconsin-horse-worlds-tallest-nearly-foot/
Updated April 28, 2010

Wisconsin Horse Is World's Tallest at Nearly 6-Foot-11

Big Jake, who weighs about 2,600 pounds, is good with people and even likes to goof off, says his owner.
POYNETTE, Wis. -- Big Jake might be taller than any other horse in the world, but his owner Jerry Gilbert describes him as a gentle giant.
The 9-year-old Belgian gelding is the Guinness World Record-holder for world's tallest living horse at one quarter inch short of 6-feet, 11 inches.
AND THE STORY GOES ON TELLING US HOW INCREDIBLY TALL THIS HORSE IS.
WHAT IS MISSING IN THIS STORY? WHAT WOULD YOU ABSOLUTELY EXPECT TO BE PRESENT AFTER READING A STORY LIKE THIS?
THE MENTAL GIANTS AT FOX NEWS HAVE DECIDED THAT THIS STORY IS GOOD ENOUGH WITHOUT INCLUDING A PICTURE OF THE TALLEST HORSE IN THE WORLD. AFTER ALL, YOU SHOULD JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CONJURE UP THAT SMALL DETAIL.
FOX NEWS = IDIOTIC JOURNALISM
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THIS IS REAL

FOX NEWS SMEARS LARRY KING WITH AN INTENTIONAL MISLEADING HEADLINE











Readers to yesterday's Fox News' Front Page Entertainment Category Headlines, woke up to find a sensational story:

" * Little League Coach Says He Had Affair With Larry King' "

OMG! you probably reacted. Thoughts of old but manly Larry King getting it on with some male Little League coach made you sick. After all, Larry's had 7 or 8 divorces. When did he become homosexual? Was Larry whispering sexy stories in the man's ear with his deep, rhythmic voice?

However, as you clicked on the headline, this is what you got instead:

"Entertainment

Little League Coach Says He Had Affair With Larry King's Wife"

Fox News intentionally placed the misleading headline, hoping you would jump out of your seat and go tell everybody without checking the connected story. You see, Larry King is a lifelong liberal on left-leaning CNN and this gave Fox News the opportunity to smear him.

Fox News is right of despicable.
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EDITORIAL

FOX NEWS & FRIENDS & TEA PARTIERS ARE ALL:

HYPOCRITES! HYPOCRITES! HYPOCRITES!

Tea Partiers are outraged that a teacher used his First Amendment rights to call them "racists, homophobes and morons."

The Tea Partiers took this innocuous statement to their pimp media outlet, Fox News, which turned a non-issue into a sensationalized, hysterical national event.

After harassing the teacher's employer with thousands of phone calls, the Tea Partiers are now demanding that the teacher apologize and that he be given sensitivity training and some anger management therapy.

But now, according to their media pimp, Fox News, the Tea Partiers are just so gracious:

"The Tea Partiers are taking the high road. Just because Oregon middle school teacher Jason Levin has publicly denounced them as a bunch of "racists, homophobes and morons," they say that's no reason for him to lose his job."

Yes, after harassing his employer with thousands of phone calls demanding they fire him, the Tea Partiers are now only asking for the man to kowtow to them and become one of their brainwashed robots.

Apparently, the Tea Partiers do not use the same set of standards when it comes down to their right wing media maniac heroes.

When the hosts of Fox News including their friends Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Michael Savage, Roy Masters and Sean Hannity daily call the President of the United States, every Democrat and every American that supports him "racists, homophobes, morons, idiots, Communists, fools, half-wits, imbeciles, creeps, boneheads, Socialists, criminals, Un-Americans, supremacists, xenophobics, bigots, fanatics, narrow minded" and a host of other things we won't repeat--than it is OK!

The Tea Partiers never request that total loons like Michael Savage and the others who spew hate and poison against the President of the United States and his patriotic followers be given sensitivity training and some anger management therapy.

And Fox News which headlines this latest update as "Did Tea Party Crasher Teacher Learn His Lesson?"

Yes he did. He learned that only Fox News, Tea Partiers, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Michael Savage, Roy Masters, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity have the right to use Freedom of Speech in America.











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SATIRE
FOX NEWS PURCHASES THE BILL OF RIGHTS!
MAKES MODIFICATIONS FOR THE GOOD OF ALL
AMERICANS.







Unhappy with the fact that they could not get the other 50% of the U.S. to agree with them, Fox News has come up with the ultimate solution.





"Through our bullying and intimidation we were unable to convince half of the country to follow us, and we figured the only way is to make it required by law, so we bought the Bill of Rights," said an excited Roger Ailes.

"We've made some small revisions to the First Amendment and we know all Americans will be much happier and productive this way. To demonstrate our patriotism, the new Fox News Bill of Rights will be implemented on December 30th, Sean Hannity's birthday."

"I am pleased that this new stage of American freedom will be celebrated every year on my birthday and America's new birthday," said the patriot Hannity.

Fox News New Bill of Rights First Amendment Text:
"Fox News will establish the religion of their choice as the official religion of the United States. Only Fox News will be allowed Freedom of Speech. Only Fox News will be allowed Freedom of the Press. Only Fox News will be allowed to Assemble as desired. Only Fox News will be allowed to Question the Government. All Citizens will pay a yearly Fox News tax to keep it going forever."

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SATIRE


Fox News Announces New Game Show!

Fox News will debut their new game show, "Are You Smarter Than Sarah Palin?" next week.

Every week, a group of children will see if they are smarter than Sarah Palin through a series of questions on history, geography and economics.

"Each week will feature a different school age grade challenging Sarah Palin's vast knowledge. We'll start with 5th graders and work our way down to Kindergarten and nursery school children. To make things fair for her we might even have a show with Sarah Palin vs. newborns," says the show's producer.

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THIS IS AN EDITORIAL

THE JOKERESS

















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THIS IS REAL


FOX NEWS RUNS ANOTHER STORY ABOUT HOW CRIMINALS ARE CHEATING AMERICANS WITH SCAMS ONLINE AND--ON THE VERY SAME PAGE--FOX ACCEPTS MONEY FOR ADVERTISING A NEW SCAM ON THE INTERNET

On April 11, 2010, Fox News ran a story about how Americans are being scammed online:

"Criminals Trick Desperate Job Hunters

Out of work for six months, Mary Long spent hours each day surfing the Web. She found a job listing this fall for a logistics manager that paid $65,000 a year and fired off her resume. But the company, Advanta Transportation Network LLC, appears to be part of an increasingly common scam that has snared Ms. Long and many others, according to cybercrime experts."
YET ON THE VERY SAME PAGE, Fox News accepted advertising money for a new scam from which it ran their advertisement:
"Barely Legal" Discounts
Online auction "trick" nets reporter a MacBook for $102.93. Full story...
www.ConsumerInsiderReviews.com
This new scam pretends that it is going to provide you with information on how to get expensive electronic items at a fraction of the price.
And in the small print, this is what the scam company tells you:
"ALL STORIES, TESTIMONIALS AND RESULTS ARE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE EXPERIENCES OF USERS AND ARE NOT TO BE TAKEN AS FACT"
"You will be charged even if you do not use any of our products, bids or subscription services. We retain the right to change our price structure at any time. If we do so we will contact you via email or regular mail. If you do not want to pay any additional charges you must contact us and cancel your membership status immediately. Otherwise you will be billed per the new structure. If for some reason we cannot charge your card you will be liable for these charges plus 1.5 percent compound interest per month."
IN OTHER WORDS, ONCE YOU GIVE THESE PEOPLE ANY CREDIT INFORMATION, YOU ARE STUCK WITH THEM UNTIL YOU CANCEL YOUR CREDIT CARD--AND NOW, EVEN AFTERWARDS.
Nobody is forcing Fox News to run these ads for scam companies for which they charge large fees.
Fox News doesn't care that they are assisting in Americans being scammed and cheated out of the little money they have. As long as they can profit from it.
HERE IS FOX NEWS' AD SOLICITING FOR ADS FROM WHOEVER HAS THE MONEY TO PAY FOR THEM:
Welcome to FoxNewsLinks, powered by Quigo's AdSonar technology. Our content-targeting ad product places your ads in front of the right customers on FoxNews.com.
Fox News is a plague upon America.
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THIS IS REAL

SEAN HANNITY'S "FREEDOM CONCERTS" TURN OUT TO BE A HUGE SCAM!


A few times a year, Sean Hannity, through his organization Freedom Alliance, puts on a series of concerts that have one goal--to raise full and complete college tuition for the sons and daughters of U.S. service personnel who are killed in action. Other funds go to assist military members who have been badly injured in combat zones.

During the promotion of the events, Sean Hannity talks non-stop about the charitable activities and even those who disagree with his politics, have respected his efforts for such a noble cause.

But now, a well documented report (Read The Entire Report Here) has exposed the organization as a huge scam and ripoff.

According to Freedom Alliance's own tax returns, only a tiny amount of the millions raised annually actually goes to the supposed intended recipients--children of those whose parent perished in the line of duty and severely injured vets.

The tiny amount that goes to them is shocking and reprehensible:

According to its 2006 tax returns, Freedom Alliance reported revenue of $10, 822, 785, but only $397,900–or a beyond-measly 3.68%–of that was given to the children of fallen troops as scholarships or as aid to severely injured soldiers.
Freedom Alliance’s 2007 tax returns aren’t much better. Out of $12,459,317 it raised that year, only $895,347–or just 7%–went to seriously wounded troops and scholarships for fallen troops
And then, there are the 2008 Freedom Alliance tax forms, which were signed in November 2009 and filed only recently. That year, Freedom Alliance took in $8,781,431 in revenue and gave $1,060,275.57 total–or just 12%–to seriously wounded soldiers and for scholarships to kids of the fallen.
To make matters worse, Hannity and his entourage fly in ultimate luxury private planes, rent motorcades of the most expensive automobiles and stay in the finest hotels in connection with these events.
I only hated Sean Hannity 90% and gave him 10% credit because of his efforts in raising money for these veterans and their families.
He now joins the rest of them at 100% because of this deplorable scam.
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THIS IS REAL

SCREAMING RIGHT WING MANIAC MARK LEVIN DECIDED THAT HE CAN SIT IN JUDGMENT OF ALL YOU LIBERALS, DEMOCRATS AND SUPPORTERS OF HEALTH CARE FOR ALL AMERICANS.

THE AUTHOR OF "LIBERTY AND LOONINESS" (IS THAT CLEVER MARK?) HAS DECIDED TO TELL YOU WHAT YOU REALLY ARE:

"YOU ARE EVIL" EMOTIONALLY DECLARED THE MIGHTY MARK LEVIN.






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THIS IS REAL


SESAME STREET HURTS FOX NEWS' FEELINGS



















Glenn Beck responds when Sesame Street
makes fun of Fox News



The children's TV show "Sesame Street" has hurt poor Fox News' feelings.

The show did a skit in which they referred to Fox News as "Pox News."

This is how Fox News described the incident:

"The children’s show features Oscar the Grouch making the decision to star his own news network, called the Grouch News Network, or GNN. The skit features CNN’s Anderson Cooper filling in for Oscar as he chats with “Walter Cranky” and “Dan Rather-Not,” parodies on Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather.
But when a muppet caller decides that the news is not grouchy enough, she says she is changing the channel to Pox News.
I am changing the channel,” the irate muppet says. “From now on, I am watching ‘Pox’ News. Now there is a trashy news show.” "
Fox then turned to its brainwashed followers and posted their incredulous responses.
"A West Virginia viewer told FoxNews.com that her "jaw dropped" when she heard the skit's "inappropriate" material."
You must remember. Fox News which regularly libels, slanders, attacks and smears dozens of people daily, simply must never be spoken about in any kind of negative manner. Only they are allowed to do this to others.
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TO READ THE DETAILS ON THAT, CLICK ON BILL'S PICTURE:













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THIS IS REAL



A few months ago we were going to create a satirical piece about Sarah Palin becoming a stand up comedian and taking over the "Tonight Show."

On Tuesday night, Palin appeared on the "Tonight Show" where she did a stand-up comedy routine which is all over the news.

THE REASON WE LABEL ALL ARTICLES ON THE TOP AS TO IF THEY ARE SATIRE OR ARE REAL, IS BECAUSE IT HAS BECOME IMPOSSIBLE THESE DAYS TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE.

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THIS IS REAL!!! I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!



FOX NEWS ENCOURAGES AND INSTRUCTS AMERICANS HOW TO GIVE BLOW JOBS.



HERE IS YOUR ALL-AMERICAN, CONSERVATIVE, FAMILY VALUES NEWS NETWORK IN ACTION!

THE PERVERTS AND PORNOGRAPHERS AT FOX NEWS HAVE APPARENTLY DECIDED THAT AMERICANS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIVING PROPER BLOW JOBS.

THEY ARE EVEN ENCOURAGING YOUR TEENAGERS TO DO THE SAME.

PLACING THE LINK TO THEIR STORY ON THEIR FRONT PAGE TODAY, FOX NEWS ONLY CARES ABOUT INCREASING TRAFFIC TO THEIR WEB SITE AND COULD CARE LESS ABOUT THEIR LEWD AND OBSCENE BEHAVIOR.

HERE ARE QUOTES FROM THEIR STORY:

Fox on Sex: The Joys of Oral Sex

Friday, February 26, 2010

"People love oral. It’s ultimately irresistible."

"Oral sex has become widely acceptable. Pursued by people of all orientations, from the teen years up."

"Some women can climax only from this most intimate of sexual pleasures, thanks to the hub of her pleasure, the clitoris, getting ample attention."

"He also likes that his lover is doing all of the work and that he can just relax."

"Encourage your lover to explore sex resources that portray oral sex in a healthy light, depicting it as natural, normal, and beautiful more than anything."

"Talk about how much you’re savoring this sexual moment, before sitting back and enjoying all the exquisite eroticism to be had with the tip of the tongue."


HOW DO YOU RIGHT-WINGERS LIKE YOUR FOX NEWS NOW?






















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SATIRE

GEORGE BUSH APOLOGIZED TODAY TO AMERICANS FOR HIS EIGHT YEARS IN OFFICE



Good morning, and thank you for joining me. Now every one of you has good reason to be critical of me. I want to say to each of you, simply and directly, I am deeply sorry for my irresponsible and selfish behavior I engaged in. I know people want to find out how I could be so selfish and so foolish.

I am also aware of the pain my behavior has caused to those of you in this room. I have let you down, and I have let down my fans. For many of you, especially my friends, my behavior has been a personal disappointment. To those of you who work for me, I have let you down personally and professionally. My behavior has caused considerable worry to my business partners.

But still, I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am embarrassed that I have put you in this position. For all that I have done, I am so sorry.

I have a lot to atone for, but there is one issue I really want to discuss. What I did is not acceptable, and I am the only person to blame. I stopped living by the core values that I was taught to believe in. I knew my actions were wrong, but I convinced myself that normal rules didn't apply. I never thought about who I was hurting. Instead, I thought only about myself. I thought I could get away with whatever I wanted to. I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy all the temptations around me. I felt I was entitled. Thanks to money and fame, I didn't have to go far to find them.

I was wrong. I was foolish. I don't get to play by different rules. The same boundaries that apply to everyone apply to me. I brought this shame on myself.

I've had a lot of time to think about what I've done. My failures have made me look at myself in a way I never wanted to before. It's now up to me to make amends and that starts by never repeating the mistakes I've made. It's up to me to start living a life of integrity.

Parents used to point to me as a role model for their kids. I owe all those families a special apology. I want to say to them that I am truly sorry.

It's hard to admit that I need help, but I do. For 45 days from the end of December to early February, I was in inpatient therapy receiving guidance for the issues I'm facing. I have a long way to go. But I've taken my first steps in the right direction.

As I proceed, I understand people have questions. Some have written things about my family. Despite the damage I have done, I still believe it is right to shield my family from the public spotlight. They did not do these things; I did.

I recognize I have brought this on myself, and I know above all I am the one who needs to change. I owe it to my family to become a better person. I owe it to those closest to me to become a better man. That's where my focus will be.

I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it. Part of following this path for me is Buddhism, which my mother taught me at a young age. People probably don't realize it, but I was raised a Buddhist, and I actively practiced my faith from childhood until I drifted away from it in recent years. Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. It teaches me to stop following every impulse and to learn restraint. Obviously, I lost track of what I was taught.

As I move forward, I will continue to receive help because I've learned that's how people really do change. Starting tomorrow, I will leave for more treatment and more therapy.

Finally, there are many people in this room, and there are many people at home who believed in me. Today, I want to ask for your help. I ask you to find room in your heart to one day believe in me again.

Thank you.
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THIS IS REAL
FOX NEWS CONTINUES TO RUN "GOOGLE SCAM" ADS THAT ARE RIPPING OFF AMERICANS OF THE LITTLE MONEY THEY HAVE.

ALTHOUGH ABC NEWS DID A HUGE EXPOSE ON THIS (AFTER WE PUBLISHED THE ORIGINAL EXPOSE STORY ON THIS WEBSITE) , FOX NEWS TONIGHT HAD YET ANOTHER AD FOR A GOOGLE SCAM ON THEIR FRONT PAGE. FOX NEWS MAKES BIG MONEY FOR RUNNING ADS LIKE THIS:

THEIR FRONT PAGE AD TONIGHT ON WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10, 2010:

Mom Makes $6397/Month

She makes $6397 a month working online. Read her story to see how.

RecessionWeekly.com/Jobs

WHICH LINKS TO:

http://www.recessionweekly.com/as/
WHAT THE AD LOOKS LIKE:

Mom Finds $63/hr Job During Current Economic Recession

Are online jobs the next big thing? For Eva Steadman it sure is. Eva, a mother, is thriving in the middle of an economic recession working in the comfort of her own home.
"I get paid about $25 for every link I post on Google and I get paid every week... I make around $15,500 a month right now"
Eva's story is a very familiar one in these tough times. She lost her job as an account rep for a manufacturing company and a few days later her husband also was laid off from his job as part of cutbacks due to the bad economy.















"Just last week Eva received another check for $4,745.91"
THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE AD ITSELF SAYS IN ITS OWN TINY FINE PRINT ON THE BOTTOM THAT THE STORY IS COMPLETELY MADE UP:
"THE STORY DEPICTED ON THIS SITE AND THE PERSON DEPICTED IN THE STORY ARE NOT REAL."
THE AD ALSO SAYS IN THE TINY FINE PRINT THAT IT'S GOING TO COST YOU $1.95 UNLESS YOU CANCEL, AND THEN YOU WILL BE BILLED MONTHLY FOR ALMOST $80.00 A MONTH.
"You will be billed $1.95 at the time of order submission. Once Your trial is active you have 7-days to decide whether to accept Your Subscription. Prior to the expiration of the 7-day trial period, You may cancel Your subscription by calling toll-free at 1-800-497-4988. Should You fail to cancel Your Subscription within the 7-day trial You will be billed $79.90 at the completion of the 7-day trial and every month thereafter for continued services."
MOST PEOPLE DO NOT SEE THIS TINY FINE PRINT AND WHEN THEIR CREDIT CARD STARTS BEING BILLED $80.00 A MONTH, IT'S VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CANCEL WITHOUT CLOSING DOWN YOUR ACCOUNT.
THIS IS HOW MUCH FOX NEWS CARES ABOUT AMERICANS. LAST YEAR THEY RAN THESE ADS CONTINUALLY THROUGHOUT 2009 (SOMETIMES 4 ADS AT A TIME) AND THEY TOOK IN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS FOR PLACING THE ADS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF FOXNEWS.COM
WITH AMERICANS UNABLE TO GET BY FINANCIALLY, ANY COMPANY THAT WOULD PARTICIPATE IN A SCAM LIKE THIS SO THEY CAN MAKE MORE PROFIT IS DEPLORABLE. FOX NEWS IS WRETCHED AND REPREHENSIBLE.
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THIS IS A SATIRICAL LOOK AT A REAL EVENT







SARAH PALIN WRITES NOTES ON HAND TO REFER TO DURING TEA PARTY SPEECH


Barack Obama might have his teleprompter but Sarah Palin believes in doing things the good old down home fashioned way. The voluptuous spokesman for the Republican party jotted down a note on her hand to refer to during her speech at the Tea Party Nation's first official gathering this weekend.

Fox News caught up with the scintillating Palin after the speech and had a chance to ask her about the cryptic note she referred to. "It says NORTH KOREA BAD. Since I recently learned that there are two different Koreas, I have had the most difficult time in remembering which is which. So I can express my newly developed geographical knowledge with full accuracy, I always keep it there to refer to."

Fox News has learned that she has other information available on various body parts that she didn't have a chance to utilize in impressing her dedicated followers. "I have the first amendment written on my ankle and a map distinguishing Washington State and Washington D.C. around my belly button," said the brilliant Palin.















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THIS IS REAL
READ HERE HOW A JUDGE RULED THAT FOX NEWS WAS "GULLIBLE AND UNPROFESSIONAL" WHEN THEY TRIED TO LIBEL AND SLANDER A SCHOOL SUPERINTENDENT--AND OF COURSE, REFUSED TO ACCEPT ANY RESPONSIBILITY WHEN THE REALLY STUPID THING THEY DID BECAME APPARENT.
http://www.openeducation.net/2008/06/10/district-judge-rules-fox-news-gullible-and-unprofessional/

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THIS IS AN EDITORIAL















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THIS IS A SATIRICAL EDITORIAL



Burbank, CA - AP

The Supreme Court's decision this week that corporations can spend as much money as they like on political campaigns will benefit all the major broadcasters and especially NBC. The network which has only one show in the top 30, a football game, announced that they will become a full-time network that will air only political commercials sponsored by corporations.

Jeff Zucker, head of NBC says, "we don't care who they're for or who they're against. We will become the 24-hour 'all political commercials paid for by corporations' network! We'll be swimming in the money shortly!"

NBC said, "we'll have all 30-60 second spots running all day. To break up the monotony, we'll have only two shows, one will be 'Jay Leno hosts the funniest political commercials sponsored by corporations' and 'Conan has his roster of characters acting out political commercials sponsored by corporations.' We're already booked up for a year!"
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THIS IS REAL
THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, DEPLORABLE AND DESPICABLE THING FOX NEWS HAS EVER DONE! THEIR FRONT PAGE MAJOR NEWS STORY TODAY DEPICTS A PHOTO OF PRESIDENT OBAMA NEXT TO THE LATE SENATOR EDWARD KENNEDY AS HE HOLDS A FRAMED PHOTO DETAILING THE LOSS OF HIS SENATE SEAT. AS YOU CAN SEE, THIS PHOTO THEY PRESENT HAS BEEN MODIFIED FROM THE ORIGINAL DEPICTED BELOW.
FOX NEWS SHOULD BE DEPORTED FROM THE USA.


















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THIS IS REAL

DESPICABLE HYPOCRITES AT FOX NEWS ENCOURAGE THE PUBLIC TO DISRESPECT AND MOCK THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

FOX NEWS, THE "FAIR AND BALANCED" NETWORK RAN A CONTEST THIS WEEK IN WHICH IT ASKED THE PUBLIC TO MOCK THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BY SENDING IN PHOTOS OF HIM WITH CAPTIONS AND THOUGHT BALLOONS.

WHEN WE RAN A PHOTO OF A "REPUBLICAN HELL," FOX NEWS DECIDED IT WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING EVER IMPLEMENTED IN HISTORY AND RAN A NATIONAL STORY ABOUT IT. BUT APPARENTLY, IT IS OKAY FOR THEM TO ENCOURAGE THE PUBLIC TO DISRESPECT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BY SENDING IN THEIR OWN "DEMOCRATIC HELL" AND POSTING THE WINNERS:

THIS IS A SAMPLING OF THEIR WINNERS WHICH DISPARAGE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.


















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THIS IS REAL

THIS IS YOUR "FAIR AND BALANCED" NEWS NETWORK AT WORK.
DO YOU THINK YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS PHOTO ON THE FRONT PAGE OF ABC, NBC OR CBS?

THIS IS WHAT FOX NEWS RAN TODAY AS THEIR TOP STORY ON THEIR WEBSITE COMMENTING ON THE DEMOCRATIC SENATE LOSS IN MASSACHUSETTS. IS THIS "FAIR AND BALANCED" ?






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THIS IS REAL

Sarah Palin - Blame It All On God.



Sarah Palin has an answer for why everything happens. "It's All God's Plan."

That has been her answer to numerous questions including the explanation of why there is an Iraq War and why she was thrown into the spotlight of politics.

She needs to realize that using her same inspirational logic, it was "God's Plan" for her underage unmarried daughter to have a baby, for her and John McCain to lose the 2008 Presidential Election, for Jay Leno to lose and regain 'The Tonight Show,' and thankfully for both Simon and Paula Abdul to leave 'Idol'."

Considering she not only called the Iraq War part of "God's Plan" AND "a task that is from God," hopefully she doesn't see large scale human tragedies such as earthquakes, also part of "God's Plan."

You never know what these right-winged maniacs are really thinking (as proven so far by Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson).

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THIS IS SATIRE OF A REAL PHOTO

3 last Presidents Join Forces










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THIS IS REAL

















PAT ROBERTSON -- GO TO HELL OR HADES OR HAITI OR SOMEWHERE ELSE FAR AWAY

RIGHT-WINGED REPUBLICAN TV EVANGELIST PAT ROBERTSON TODAY SAID THAT THE PEOPLE OF HAITI EXPERIENCED THE EARTHQUAKE WHICH HAS KILLED A MINIMUM OF OVER 100,000 OF THEIR PEOPLE BECAUSE--"THEY ONCE MADE A PACT WITH THE DEVIL."

HOURS LATER, SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO COVER-UP HIS STUPIDITY, HE SAID:
"Haiti? I thought they said 'Hades.'"



FOX NEWS IS PROBABLY GOING TO HIRE PAT ROBERTSON AS THEIR NEWEST COMMENTATOR.
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FIRST PART IS REAL

Fox News Hired Sarah Palin As A Commentator Today.

The worldly and knowledgeable Palin's first assignment will be to explain the difference between North and South Korea and how they got that way.






"The bottom part of Korea is green because they have more trees. The top part of Korea is pink because they have more boutiques."










In the funniest statement made so far this year, the scholarly Palin said:

‘It’s wonderful to be part of a place that so values fair and balanced news’

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
SATIRE





















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THIS IS REAL

THE MORONS AT FOX NEWS CAN'T EVEN GET TRIVIAL THINGS CORRECT.

LOOK AT THIS STORY AND PHOTO WHICH WAS UP FOR 3 WEEKS AND NOBODY WAS CAPABLE OF EVEN NOTICING THE ERROR AND CORRECTING IT.

WHAT DO YOU NOTICE INACCURATE ABOUT THIS ARCHEOLOGY STORY?

'Flintstones' Kitchen Layout Actually Pretty Accurate
In a stone-age version of "Iron Chef," early humans were dividing their living spaces into kitchens and work areas much earlier than previously thought, a new study found.



Betty pulls dinner off the stove for a hungry Fred Flintstone. New archaeological discoveries indicate that the living facility seen in the cartoon was actually fairly accurate.
(it's too bad Fox News doesn't know how to make anything they write accurate)



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THIS IS REAL







Vibrator Man Bill O'Reilly is calling one of his critics "despicable" for including the following line in an episode of "Law and Order" : "Limbaugh, Beck, O'Reilly, all of 'em, they are like a cancer spreading ignorance and hate...They've convinced folks that immigrants are the problem, not corporations that fail to pay a living wage or a broken health care system..."

Because the producer of the program has the guts to tell the truth, O'Reilly personally attacks him and calls him "despicable."

You see, only Fox News, Billy O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Mark Levin have the right to call people horrible names and smear them. When somebody does it to them--they all go ballistic.

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THIS IS REAL














FOX NEWS' FRONT PAGE GRAPHIC/STORY AND QUOTE: "New CBS video advertisement has Frosty the Snowman talking about pornography and strip clubs."

The pornographers at Fox News are incensed over a promotional ad on CBS that combines the classic animated "Frosty the Snowman" with dialogue from the network's sitcoms "Two and a Half Men" and "How I Met Your Mother." Calling it a "disgrace," "morally bankrupt" and "depraved" while advocating its removal, the HYPOCRITES at Fox News have forgotten all about their recent Front Page pornography which was utilized to get you to come to their web site.


This piece of smut was featured on the Front Page of Fox News this summer to entice you to keep coming back to their web site.



FOX NEWS is filled with DISGUSTING HYPOCRITES!




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SATIRE
Sarah Palin Reaches Out To Animal Lovers On Her Book Tour



Former Vice-Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, who is expected to run for President on the Republican party in 2012, has become concerned regarding her negative perception by animal lovers. During her recent book tour, she has occasionally been harassed by a "Moose Murderer!" or "Bullwinkle Butcher!" by animal-loving Republicans who have found it hard to see past this hobby she's had since growing up.

"Barbies weren't for me," says the vivacious outdoorswoman, "we were just helping the environment by thinning the herd!"

Still, dedicated animal lovers say that her moose hunting will stop them from supporting her for her anticipated 2012 run for the White House.

Palin, always knowing how to soothe the savage beast, has come up with a new way of appealing to those folks with lingering questions about her.

Beginning today at her stop in Iowa City, Palin unveiled a giant interactive "Kiss-A-Moose" billboard. "Folks can put their heads into the slot and kiss-a-moose!" says Palin who demonstrated the folksy billboard for Fox News.

"This way they can see that I really do love our elkish friends!"













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THE EVENTS HERE ARE REAL--TWICE IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS (SEE BELOW)


we look in on the FOX NEWS SCHOOL OF BROADCAST JOURNALISM

STUDENT: Professor Hannity, how do you deal with this situation? Only a small crowd shows up for a right-wing public event and you want to make it seem like the response was much larger.

PROFESSOR SEAN HANNITY: That's simple. You edit in footage from a previous event that took place up to a year ago, where the crowds were much larger. This way you deceive and manipulate the audience into believing that the event was much more successful!

STUDENT: What do you do if sharp observers notice the irregularities?

PROFESSOR SEAN HANNITY: What did you do when your mom caught you stealing an extra cookie? You make up an excuse and lie your head off!




















TWO DIFFERENT TIMES IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS, THE FOX NEWS CHANNEL EDITED IN OLDER FOOTAGE TO MAKE POORLY ATTENDED RIGHT-WING EVENTS APPEAR TO HAVE A LARGER CROWD. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM FOX NEWS?
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THIS IS REAL



Fox News' attack-Obama-obsession-of-the-day concerns itself with the President's greeting to the Japanese Emperor. Fox is up in arms as to Obama's bow in front of the head of the country that forces us to buy all those Toyotas and Hondas.

The guy's an Emperor. What are you supposed to do. Just stand there?

Apparently Fox News has forgotten "the many bows of George W. Bush" when greeting foreign leaders.

EVERY ONE OF THESE PHOTOS IS REAL. (captions are ours)


"King, it's been a long trip. Please massage my head."


















"Your lips taste like barrels of oil in the moonlight"


















"Forgive me father. I'm a complete screw-up!"


















"George, how about you dump that Condoleeza chick and we go praise Allah?"













"Love means never having to say you're a big idiot"
















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SATIRE
AP NEWS - LOS ANGELES

FOX NEWS HAS SIGNED CARRIE PREJEAN TO HOST HER OWN TALK SHOW ON FOX NEWS BEGINNING IMMEDIATELY.

THE NETWORK SAID,
"AS MOST PEOPLE KNOW, IN ORDER TO BECOME A FOX HOST, YOU HAVE TO BE A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, DECEIVER, MANIPULATOR AND HYPOCRITE. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO TRAIN OUR HOSTS IN THAT DIRECTION TO REACH THEIR FULL POTENTIAL. IN THIS CASE, NO ON-THE-JOB TRAINING WILL BE NECESSARY. CARRIE PREJEAN ALREADY COMES EQUIPPED WITH ALL OF THOSE CHARACTERISTICS AND SKILLS."

THE NETWORK ADDITIONALLY GAVE HER UNIQUE QUALIFICATIONS.
"SHE LIED ON AN APPLICATION FOR THE MISS USA PAGEANT STATING THAT THERE WAS NOTHING IN HER PAST RELATED TO X-RATED PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF HER. WHEN THOSE PHOTOS WERE LATER DISCOVERED, SHE CLAIMED THAT THE PHOTOGRAPHER "TRICKED HER" INTO TAKING THEM AND THAT "THE WIND WAS BLOWING" WHICH WAS THE REASON FOR THEIR EXISTENCE. WHEN AN X-RATED VIDEO WAS DISCOVERED OF HER, SHE CLAIMED THAT SHE MADE IT WHEN SHE WAS 17 FOR HER BOYFRIEND. WHEN THE BOYFRIEND TESTIFIED THAT SHE WAS 20 AT THE TIME AND THERE ARE OVER A DOZEN SUCH VIDEOS IN EXISTENCE, SHE SUDDENLY REFUSED TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT IT."

"SHE IS THE ULTIMATE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, DECEIVER, MANIPULATOR AND HYPOCRITE! EXACTLY WHAT WE LOOK FOR HERE AT FOX NEWS."

CARRIE'S FIRST SHOW WILL BE AN INTERVIEW WITH FOX'S MASTER-DEBATER AND VIBRATOR MAN, BILL O'REILLY.

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EDITORIAL

Now that the House has passed the Health Care Bill, Fox News has turned up the steam all the way to try and prevent it from successfully leaving the Senate and landing on the President's desk. With headlines like:

"WILL HEALTH VOTE DOOM DEMS?
Democrats will suffer at the polls for their vote in favor of sweeping health care reform package"

Fox News is now targeting both Senators and Congressman outright threatening their longevity if they continue to support the plan.

Fox News prefers an America where sick, hungry and homeless people line the streets of our cities. After all, these people don't deserve free health care. They got themselves into these situations and they need to get themselves out--without Americans providing for their health and well being.

Roger Ailes and the rest of his cronies need to watch "Groundhog Day" and develop some humanity and compassion in their lives--which they clearly don't have.

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THIS IS REAL



Fox News loves to attack David Letterman for his office romances but they have conveniently forgotten about the King Of Office Sex--
Bill O' Reilly--who enchanted America with his tales of teaching young women how to properly use a vibrator, masturbated on the telephone while calling young office women and engaged in the most decadent behavior possible--yet as a right-winged maniac, Fox News has turned him into another Superhero!

Bill, how much did you pay her off to go away?

"The Fox News Channel host was named in a sexual harassment lawsuit brimming with lurid details about vibrators, phone sex, threesomes, masturbation, Caribbean shower fantasies, a Thai sex show, falafel, stewardess trysts, vehicular coupling, and Al Franken."


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/1013091oreilly1.html




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A REAL QUOTE WITH SOME SATIRICAL ADS

Rush Limbaugh On Drugs: "And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up."
































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THIS IS REAL
FOX NEWS FINALLY GETS A STORY RIGHT:
"Senior Obama administration officials took to the airwaves Sunday to accuse Fox News of pushing a particular point of view and not being a real news network"

We read this on Fox News. It must be TRUE.
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THIS IS REAL














Fox News HYPOCRITES only gives you the BIG PICTURE WHEN IT SUITS THEIR AGENDA.

When UNEMPLOYMENT was SKYROCKETING under George W. Bush, Fox News never once told you that the 7% Unemployment rate was not the BIG PICTURE. They conveniently NEVER MENTIONED that when you add in all of the people working part-time and all the people who have given up looking for work...the REAL Unemployment rate under George W. Bush was over 10%. Go back and try and find a Fox News story that accounts for those additional details. You won't. No such story exists.

HOWEVER, Fox News has suddenly decided that under President Barack Obama, all of those little details suddenly matter:




Jobless Hits 9.8%; Only Half the Story

September unemployment inches closer to 10 percent, but full jobless picture is more like 17 percent

Jobless Rate Climbs to 9.8 Percent in September

If laid-off workers who have settled for part-time work or have given up looking for new jobs are included, the unemployment rate rose to 17 percent, the highest on records dating from 1994.

WHAT A BUNCH OF MANIPULATIVE HYPOCRITES.
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SATIRE







American Schoolchildren Being Forced To Perform Daily Satanic Ritual


On the heels of our groundbreaking story which revealed that an American elementary school horrifyingly had its students singing a song of praise about the President of the United States, Fox News has learned that a brainwashing ritual is being performed every morning at yet another American public school.

Reportedly, students at Richard Nixon Elementary School in Yorba Linda, CA are gathered together every morning, told to face a red, white and blue piece of cloth, and recite some dangerous propaganda. Parents report that this clearly Satanic ritual further requires the impressionable youngsters to place their hands over their hearts before parroting the disturbing words.

The daily recitation requires the children to actually give their allegiance to some questionable entity. "Requiring innocent children to give their allegiance to anything is a Socialist plot of those disgusting liberals and Democrats" says Fox News' Sean Hannity. "This must be the latest plan by Barack Obama to indoctrinate America's schoolchildren."

Fox News has further learned that a Satanic "God" is even worshipped as part of the daily recitation. "They make us worship their God" as part of it said "Little Jimmy," whose real name has been changed for his protection. "I don't understand what they are making us say, but my mommy and daddy say that Fox News calls it bad--and they are always right."














Schoolchildren at American elementary school being forced to perform frightening daily ritual.

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SATIRE





















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THIS IS REAL













RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A STUPID, FAT, MORONIC IDIOT WHO CROSSED THE LINE OF DECENCY TODAY. OF COURSE--YOU WON'T READ ABOUT THIS ON FOX NEWS.

LIMBAUGH WAS MAKING HIS USUAL DEGRADING REMARKS ABOUT PRESIDENT OBAMA WHEN HE STARTED FOCUSING ON OBAMA'S RELATIONSHIP TO THE ENVIRONMENT.

LIMBAUGH WENT ON AND ON ABOUT HOW THE PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO SCARE PEOPLE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT AND HOW PHONY LIMBAUGH THINKS HE REALLY IS.

IT WAS AT THIS POINT LIMBAUGH DECIDED TO COME UP WITH AN ANALOGY TO BETTER EXPLAIN WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO SAY.

LIMBAUGH DECIDED THAT COMPARING OBAMA'S ENVIRONMENTAL PLEAS TO THE PLEAS MADE BY THE MUSCULAR DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION WOULD EXPLAIN IT ALL.

"It's like the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon," explained Limbaugh. He then put on his most mocking and sarcastic voice as he continued--"Look at that poor child, he's going to die if you don't do something."

This is the most reprehensible thing the Oxycontin Octopus Limbaugh has ever said.

And you won't be reading about it on Fox News.

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SATIRE


FOX NEWS & FRIENDS IN HISTORY:
The Year—1963.
The young new President gives an inspiring speech. “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."



















THE RIGHT-WINGED MEDIA MANIACS BEGIN THEIR COORDINATED ATTACK:









Within a few minutes of being sworn in as President, John F. Kennedy has made his Socialist agenda clear. He expects Americans to make continual personal sacrifices to keep America afloat. Blah-blah-blah.”



Laura Ingraham "He is not eligible to be President. He was born in England under mysterious circumstances when his father was an Ambassador.”





Rush Limbaugh "Who does this man think he is? In office just a few minutes and already abusing his power."













Sean Hannity “Welcome to the “Stop JFK Express.” He has asked the young people of America to become slaves to his new Socialist government. Same as Stalin. Same as Mao. Same as Castro.Now you know what to expect over the next four years.”







Mark Levin "The U.S. Government is here to serve us. We are not here to serve it. That’s what we pay taxes for. He is setting the stage for a Communist government not quite seen since Roosevelt. Yes, I said Roosevelt."














Michael Savage "That Frat Boy thinks he can walk in here and start telling us what to do! He needs to go back to Massachusetts and suck off his family’s wealth instead.”










Glenn Beck.
“JFK is a racist. His entire family are racists. Anybody that follows him is a racist!”








Bill O'Reilly "President Kennedy is a bad choice for America. We'll find out why from J. Edgar Hoover and George Wallace when the Factor begins right now!"















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EDITORIAL



FOX NEWS IS UNAMERICAN AND UNPATRIOTIC













THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, BARACK OBAMA, IS GOING TO ADDRESS STUDENTS AT SCHOOL S IN A NATIONWIDE SPEECH TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO WORK HARD IN SCHOOL AND VALUE THEIR EDUCATION.



EVEN BEFORE THIS GROUNDBREAKING SPEECH IS MADE, FOX NEWS, IS SAYING: "Schoolchildren should not be indoctrinated in obedience to and service in support of the president of the United States." "When recruits are children, doesn't that constitute indoctrination, even brainwashing?"



IN A CLEAR ATTACK ON AMERICA AND DISRESPECT FOR THE OFFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, FOX NEWS IS DEMONSTRATING JUST HOW MUCH IT REALLY HATES AMERICA AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR.



THIS IS OUTRIGHT SEDITION AND TREASON. FOX NEWS IS A DANGER TO EVERYTHING THAT IS RIGHT ABOUT AMERICA.







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A TRIBUTE TO FOX NEWS VIEWERS

WHERE WOULD FOX NEWS BE WITHOUT THEIR LOYAL AND BRAINWASHED VIEWERS WHO TAKE THEIR DAILY PROPAGANDA AND GO OUT REGURGITATING IT AMONG THEIR FAMILIES, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS?

WE SALUTE THESE BRAINWASHED AMERICANS AS THEY PARTICIPATE IN AMERICAN-STYLE DEMOCRACY.



















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EDITORIAL

THERE ARE FEW THINGS THAT ARE CONSISTENT AND GUARANTEED IN TODAY'S WORLD. BUT HERE IS ONE OF THEM:

IF YOU ARE A RIGHT-WINGED MEDIA MANIAC--FOX NEWS WILL TURN YOU INTO A SUPER HERO!

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE A PERVERT, IMMORAL, LIAR, CHEATER, UNETHICAL, RUDE, CRUDE, LEWD, MORONIC, OUT-OF-CONTROL, BIGOT--FOX NEWS WILL TURN YOU INTO A SUPER HERO!

HERE IS FOX NEWS' LATEST "WE NEED TO TURN A RIGHT-WINGED MEDIA MANIAC INTO A SUPER HERO!"

GLENN BECK--AS YOU KNOW FROM ALL OTHER MEDIA BESIDES FOX NEWS, CALLED PRESIDENT OBAMA A "RACIST." BUT YOU WON'T BE READING ABOUT THAT AT FOX NEWS. INSTEAD, FOX NEWS HAS BEEN RUNNING STORIES SHOWING WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SUPER HERO GLENN BECK IS! THIS IS THE FIRST IN A SERIES.
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THIS IS REAL With America experiencing the worst recession since the 1930s, wars going on involving our citizens, terrorism a constant threat and major changes confronting American life...what does Fox News choose to make their top story today?
The fact that NBC is selling Obama merchandise in their online store is apparently the most important issue in America deserving the top spot on Fox News.













And America's "fair and balanced" network has the audacity to question if NBC has a political bias.
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THIS IS REAL

Fox News Attacks 16-Year Old Miley Cyrus--Making Her Sound Like A Ho!


Fox News' front page story today was an attack on young star Miley Cyrus' performance at a teen award show last night. Fox News called her "raunchy," described it as a "racy performance in hot pants on a stripper poll" and further labeled her wearing "micro short shorts, black boots, bra showing and even the aforementioned action on a pole."

The nation's moral leader, Fox News, acted outraged by the performance.

Yet, who is going to air the performance tonight? Fox Television.

And apparently Fox News has no problem in posting "raunchy" and obscene photos on their front page to get you to come to their web site.


As usual--FOX NEWS ARE BUNCH OF HYPOCRITES!



















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THIS IS REAL with commentary.




FOX NEWS AND THEIR RIGHT-WING FRIENDS EITHER TOTALLY IGNORE OR DISPARAGE THE HUMANITARIAN ACT OF FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON.

RUSH LIMBAUGH, SEAN HANNITY & MARK LEVIN FOUND THE PERFECT WAY TO INSULT & DISPARAGE FORMER PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON'S HUMANITARIAN EFFORTS IN NORTH KOREA--THEY TOTALLY IGNORED THE EVENT AND PRETENDED IT NEVER HAPPENED.

WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE VERY FIRST THING THEY BROUGHT UP ON THEIR RADIO SHOWS TODAY DID NOT COME UP. LIKE IT NEVER HAPPENED. IN THE ULTIMATE DISRESPECT TO THE FORMER PRESIDENT WHO INTERVENED AS A HUMANITARIAN TO OBTAIN THE RELEASE OF TWO AMERICAN JOURNALISTS BEING HELD CAPTIVE IN NORTH KOREA, THESE "NOT GREAT" AMERICANS, LIMBAUGH, HANNITY AND LEVIN, PROVED WHAT BRAINWASHED LITTLE CLONES THEY ALL ARE BY CHOOSING TO IGNORE THIS OUTSTANDING HUMANITARIAN ACT.

AND WHAT DID FOX NEWS DO? THEY RAN ONE OF THEIR DISTORTED AND PERVERTED VERSIONS OF THE STORY IN ORDER TO DISPARAGE PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON.




"It's like sending in Bono or Sting"




"The good news is that Clinton is a statesman, but the problem is, you don't always know what he's doing"




"Not to mention, say others, Clinton is no Jimmy Carter."




"On a certain level, it makes me uncomfortable,"




were just some of the degrading quotes from the twisted and unpatriotc Fox story.



WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED HAD FORMER PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH GONE TO NORTH KOREA TO SUCCESSFULLY OBTAIN THE RELEASE OF THE TWO WOMEN?

THIS IS WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD:

"Sean Hannity": "I want every American to stop what they are doing right now and give thanks to God for allowing George W. Bush to successfully complete this mission."

"Rush Limbaugh": "The light of courage, humanity and decency is shining throughout the universe today because of the unselfish acts of former President George W. Bush."

"Mark Levin": "President Bush was being guided by the hand and inspiration of Ronald Reagan. You should all be proud Americans today!"

And the nitwits at Fox News would have been asking for a national holiday to commemorate the continued accomplishments of George W. Bush.
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THIS IS REAL
Fox News Runs Story About Online Scams But Conveniently Leaves Out Information About The Biggest Online Scam From Which They Are Hosting And Accepting Advertising Money From On The Very Same Page!



By Eliot Stein eliotstein@yahoo.com



Thousands of Americans Losing Money to online “Google Scam” Thousands of Americans are being cheated out of significant amounts of money by a number of similar scams claiming that the average person can easily replace an entire working income by posting links on Google. Thousands of complaints have appeared online with people talking about how they have been ripped off. And the scam is being promoted as appearing as advertisements on the front page of www.foxnews.com, further giving it implied credibility.

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THIS IS REAL
Welcome to the FOX NEWS PORNO CHANNEL

Here is your family values, conservative, all-American
FOX NEWS PORNO CHANNEL in action.

"the stimulus package
America really needs" (their quote) They had this on the FRONT PAGE today of www.foxnews.com and later moved it to be connected to their entertainment section.























There is your FAMILY VALUES/CONSERVATIVE/ALL AMERICAN "news" organization at work. WHAT HYPOCRITES!
I would like to tell you that this is one of my parody pieces, but it is not.
It is exactly as posted today on Fox News.


There was a time in America that you had to buy this in the back room of some seedy adult book store or on a newsstand covered by a brown paper bag. And now, America's self-proclaimed moral leader, Fox News, is offering this smut absolutely for free!


Why don't you call up Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin or Michael Savage and ask them why Fox News is running smut on their website?


They'll think up some rationalization to defend America's moral leader.
(by the way...we did...we called Sean Hannity 's radio show and after we told his producer what this was about, she said: "I don't care about Fox News. This is ABC." And then hung up on us. But as you know, Sean Hannity is always talking about how wonderful Fox News is.)


LOTS MORE COMING! TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT FOXNOOSE!